So Strange You Are My Lover
by silent moon1
Summary: Darien, a beautiful artist, makes the fatal mistake of falling in love with the one woman he cannot have. A woman married to someone else...
1. Chapter 1

So Strange You Are My Lover  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Author: Silent Moon  
E-mail: silentmoonstar@yahoo.com  
Rated: R  
Genre: Romance/Alternate Reality  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
Serena lay curled with satisfaction in her lover's arms. She reflected ironically,   
that, were it anyone else, she would not use the word 'lover', it was too charged--too   
akin to the real thing....but as she lifted herself up to look down at him she smiled,  
Darien was so gentle, and warm and utterly tender with her that he could be nothing else.  
He not only fit the word lover, he enhanced it.   
  
She glanced around the loft of his beautiful apartment. Canvases, paints, sheets, and brushes  
everywhere.....light falling across it all in delightful beams from the high windows.  
He was an artist....a painter.....she smiled deeper....~How did I ever end up here?~  
  
And it was true. Serena was no artist. On the contrary she was a successful, ambitious,  
well respected, married business woman. And yet here she was, in the arms of her lover, a man  
who seemed her complete opposite.....  
  
But she knew how she ended up with him. She'd been the one to make the move. She'd been the   
one to find him at that party.....pick him up....begin the affair....  
How long ago that all seemed now....  
  
She looked at the clock and frowned, it was getting late. She regretfully woke Darien, her   
voice soft and gentle--a voice she realized, she only used here,  
"I've gotta go..."  
  
He simply smiled, murmured something incoherantly, and pulled her in closer.  
  
"Hey-y!" She protested.  
  
"Isonlyearlyyet..." He slurred, sleep heavy in his voice.  
  
She giggled but pulled away, "Come on....I have to get up!"  
  
He sighed and released her. All the strength in the world didn't compete with the fact  
that she wanted to leave. Wanted to go home and continue the life she shared with her  
husband. Darien watched after her retreating figure....ivory skin, long, long golden  
hair that she refused to cut even though her husband pressured her....she was not tall, but  
the slender length of her limbs made her appear so.....  
  
He waited till she disappeared into the bathroom and he heard the shower come on before turning  
away again, rolling over on his back. Another night together. How many times had they made  
love now? How long had it been?  
  
It was ages since that party. Her husband had been away and she'd snuck out to it. Drank  
happily and even sung a song while the pianist played. She had a beautiful voice. But she  
refused to take it seriously. Apparently singing did not become a successful business tycoon,  
he thought ironically.  
  
He finally roused himself and threw on clothes. Try as he may, mornings would not stretch  
to fit his desires. Though he would never admit that given the choice he'd stretch them  
indefintely. That might mean that he...that he...  
He shook himself free of such thoughts and headed down to make breakfast. The rest of the   
apartment was tidy and clean. Comfortable furniture, fish tank, his bedroom off to the left.  
But he and Serena never slept in the bedroom. The loft was their place, a bedroom, she'd said,  
was too personal. He hadn't bothered to point out that his loft was the most personal place in   
the world to him. The place where he put his heart and soul and thoughts on canvas every day.  
It hadn't seemed important at the time.  
  
Besides, she wouldn't understand. She knew nothing about art. Had never even been to one of  
his shows. Would never.  
  
He heard her coming down the loft steps, "Mmmmm, smells like pancakes!"  
  
He had to smile at this.   
  
She grinned at the apple slice on top, cut sideways so that the star showed. Apple stars.   
She'd never known about them until she'd met him, he couldn't believe it, but she'd honestly  
never cut an apple that way. And ever since, he put one on top of her pancakes.  
  
They ate quietly. What were two people supposed to talk about when they were having an  
affair? When they lived completely different lives? The one thing that made their affair so  
safe, both thought, was how opposite they seemed. An artist and a business woman?? It was  
entirely impossible. They had nothing in common. Their outlooks, philosophies, values and  
goals.  
  
Even their dress, for Darien wore the loose, rough, casual clothes of an artist, rarely   
dressing up. While Serena defined the word "preppy". She looked like something out of a   
magazine, and not just her trendsetting skirt and blouse business suits either, even her  
weekend clothes were polo, ralph lauren sport style stripes and denim, sweaters and tidy   
sandals.  
But there were fine details that gave her away, Darien thought.   
Details only a lover would notice.   
The little bit of sparkle she always wore on her lips, the fact that she kept her hair  
long. Not just long, extremely long. Her golden hair tumbled nearly to her ankles--a fact few  
people knew. She wore it neatly up everyday.  
  
These details revealed another side of her. A side that stubbornly refused to be silent, if  
only to reveal itself in brief snatches of her appearance and character. But Darien kept  
his opinion of this to himself as he watched her eat. There was the hint of sparkle on her  
lips, like a fairy touch, hidden by the rather overwhelming business presence she had, even  
here, relaxed at his table. She was one of those women that--though she ate politely, and  
carefully and even gracefully--something always managed to get on her nose or cheek. It was  
very endearing--though it embarassed her terribly.   
  
"So...how's work?" He said softly, reluctant to break the reverie with half-awkward   
conversation. But words were never really awkward between them.  
  
"The usual, busy busy and busy."  
  
He chuckled.  
  
"How's your set coming along?" She returned, licking the syrup from her fingertips hurriedly.  
  
"Pretty well. I don't know how happy I am with it though. I think I may change a couple of  
the original pieces."  
  
"You always say that."  
  
"I know, but this time I mean it!"  
  
"You always say that too."  
  
He laughed. It was true. He did.  
  
She smiled back at him. Wondering how on earth he really DID manage to decide when a painting  
was done. When it did what he wanted. Did he pre-plan them or just start and see what  
happened? She shook herself, these weren't things she needed to know. She had no business  
knowing such private things about him. They were friendly with one another and that was all.  
Anymore and a full-fledged relationship might develop. And that could not happen.  
  
She sighed. She'd long given up the romantic ideals she'd cherished as a young girl. In fact  
she no longer believed there was such a thing as love. Especially romantic love. Her husband  
had cured her of such ridiculous fantasies. She smiled ironically.   
Her husband. Alan.  
  
He was a smart, proud, practical man. His singular drive to succeed had inspired her when  
she was helpless in deciding the path her future should take. Torn between arts and sciences.  
His philosophies on life and work and making the most of one's best skills had seemed so  
wise and sensible. Under his guidance she'd honed her managerial skills to their finest. Now  
she led a team of marketing researchers with a vision and authority unmatched in her field.  
It was a very busy, life-encompassing job.....but still she snuck out to art shows and music  
recitals....wondering uneasily in rare moments of solitude if perhaps a balance between the two  
weren't possible.  
  
She still loved to sing and play the piano. But these were frivolous wastes of time. Childish  
impulses that needed to be nipped keenly in the bud. Or so thought her husband. She fought  
him tooth and nail about having a piano but lost. Inconsequently, Darien had a piano. A  
beautiful one.  
  
So she indulged this side of her nature in secret. While her husband was away on one of his  
many business trips or lectures. And so she'd met Darien. A man who'd made a living by   
following the very ideals and intuitions her husband waved away with barely a second thought.  
The attraction between them had been absolute and overwhelming. Even a little drunk she'd   
felt her mind reel intellectually at it as well as physically. And surrendoring to her  
desire had been the ultimate indulgence. The ultimate rebellion against her husband. And  
likewise the ultimate pleasure. Making love with Darien was like no other experience she'd  
ever had. And being that it was so absolutely satisfying both physically and intellectually,  
she came back again and again.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Darien's voice broke her thoughts.  
  
"Hmmm...oh nothing." She looked at her watch and stood, "I've gotta go. Meeting at 9."  
  
"And 10 and 11 and--"  
  
"Yes, yes, point taken."  
  
"I'm right aren't I?"  
  
She laughed, "As always."  
  
She turned to leave but he caught her hand, "Will you be back soon?"  
  
Her face grew serious, "As soon as I can." Her voice was soft and traced with the barest  
of huskiness.  
  
He smiled, "Till then."  
  
She nodded and hurried out the door. Darien returned to the kitchen and cleaned up the   
breakfast dishes, humming softly. His mind elsewhere. He was worried.   
  
Someone was coming home, back to the city after being gone for over two years. She was his  
ex-girlfriend. And he was still in love with her.  
  
For unlike Serena, Darien's ideals were still well intact. He believed in one love, for all  
of life. Ann had been his first love, and he would have faith in that love--had kept faith  
these past two years.   
  
And now she was coming home again. And she'd asked to see him.  
  
He was worried because he would have to end the affair with Serena, and that shouldn't be   
bothering him. They'd agreed long ago that if he met someone the affair would end.  
  
It shouldn't be bothering him. But it was.  
  
He sighed, and headed up to paint away some of his frustrations. Passing by the rumpled   
make shift bed in the corner as he went. Rooting through a box near the window till he   
retrieved a photo. An old photo.   
  
A pretty red haired girl smiled out at him. Her smock coloured with paint. Ann.  
An artist. It made sense. It would take an artist to understand another artist wouldn't it?  
Then why was he worried?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~@ 


	2. Chapter 2

So Strange You Are My Lover  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Author: Silent Moon  
E-mail: silentmoonstar@yahoo.com  
Rated: R  
Genre: Romance/Alternate Reality  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~%~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
Serena sat pensively at her desk. Work lay precariously about but she was restless, couldn't  
concentrate--a mood her husband was utterly bewildered by. He always felt like studying--thrived  
on it.  
She rolled her eyes at that thought and reached for her bottom drawer, rustling through till  
she pulled out a small notebook.  
She fingered her pen thoughtfully and began to write. She would admit to no one--not even  
Darien--that she wrote poetry. It was her own personal secret, to be indulged in only from her  
home study. The thickness of her book betrayed how partial she was to it. It was a release,  
a diary of her feelings--mostly about Darien and her awe, desire and guilt at having taken him  
for a lover.  
She wondered often why he let her. She knew he felt the same powerful attraction. But he was  
terribly handsome, surely he could have any woman he wanted--and wouldn't that attraction be  
stronger with another artist? Wouldn't the passion be enhanced? She must ask him sometime.  
Then again, the thought of feeling passion of any kind for someone in her own field made her   
laugh.  
But that was different. Artists were passionate people. Business executives were not.  
Although Ami and Greg seemed happy enough.  
Ami and Greg both worked for her--though in different departments. They'd met through her and   
were now, apparently, happily married.  
Serena shook her head. They both loved to work. They were the smartest people in their   
respective fields, and good friends of hers.  
But Ami was too prim and shy for Serena to be able to discern if theirs was a passionate   
relationship--not that she was terribly curious! Her view on love remained unchanged.  
It didn't really exist.  
But passion--she had learned firsthand--was something else entirely.  
She happened to glance at her watch and jumped up.  
Alan was meeting her at their favorite bistro for dinner. He was home from his trip tonight.  
If she didn't hurry, she'd be late! How could she have let her mind wander like that?  
She quickly changed and tidied her hair.  
Then she hurried to the car and bistro, trying not to look winded as she breezed in and met  
Ken--the Maitre-D.  
"Hello Ken." She smiled as he took her coat.  
"Good evening Serena. Alan's waiting at your usual table."  
Ken and his wife Lita--the chef for the bistro--had become something of friends to Serena and  
Alan since they frequented the bistro so often. Lita was an exquisite chef.  
Alan stood politely as she came to the table by the window,  
"Hello Darling."  
"How was your trip?" She smiled sitting across from him casually.  
"Wonderful. This new project is really interesting. I can't wait to really sink my  
teeth into it."  
Serena laughed lightly. She knew by that comment he meant he was going home to read through  
all his notes and papers before bed. He might even skip his nine o'clock tea.  
They chatted heartily of work until Lita herself brought dinner to the table.  
"Lita!" Serena scolded, "You really don't have to bring us dinner yourself everytime!"  
Lita winked at her, "Serena, you know it's just an excuse for me to get out of the kitchen!"  
She joked.  
She lay the steaming plates on the table.  
"Mmmmmm, smells delicious!" Serena sighed, inhaling deeply.  
Alan smiled, "You always cook a great meal Lita."  
She smiled in return and for all intensive purposes it seemed they got along. But--as Lita  
confessed to Ken in private--she couldn't really bring herself to like Alan.  
"There's just something about him. He doesn't really seem right for her."  
"They seem to get along well enough," Ken had commented, "They're both very serious and  
dedicated to their work."  
"That's just it! Serena and I clicked right away. I KNOW we have the same sense of humor!  
I just don't get that feeling from Alan at all."  
She'd left it at that but Ken knew she felt it everytime she saw them.  
  
He smiled as she headed back to the kitchen.  
"Straying from the kitchen again?!" He mock scolded, "Back to work!"  
Lita laughed and playfully grabbed his nose. She was a tall woman, a   
little taller than Ken himself, and very athletic.   
But--thinking no one could see--he easily swung her round in his arms  
and placed a discreet kiss under her ear.  
She giggled and play-swatted him before disappearing into the kitchen.  
But she was blushing.  
Serena caught this display and had a sudden flash of Darien--something  
she was careful never to let herself do around Alan.  
It was not surprising since gestures like that only ever came from   
Darien.   
But Serena did not make this connection and was rather startled by her  
sudden train of thoughts.  
Why would Lita and Ken's intimate, loving gesture remind her of Darien?  
~What's the matter with me today?~  
  
She became aware that Alan was saying something to her.  
"Hmmm, what was that?"  
  
He frowned, "Is something on your mind dear?"  
  
She managed to supress the guilty flush that threatened to bloom on her cheeks but slipped  
up and said, "No, no. I just missed you this trip, that's all."  
  
And then she wanted to kick herself. He hated it when she said things like that. She knew  
that. He'd said long ago that he didn't like to think they were so helplessly dependant  
on one another. And she'd agreed.  
  
Though one of the things she cherished about Darien was the wordless, genuine expression  
in his eyes every time that said he'd missed her in a way nothing else could.  
  
"I see." Said Alan quietly.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry Alan!" She exclaimed sincerely, "I've gone and spoiled your evening. That's  
not what I meant to say at all."  
  
She moved over to the chair next to him and took his hand.  
"I'm all flustered tonight and can't get my thoughts straight. I'm sorry. I had a lot of  
meetings today, I guess I'm just overtired."  
  
Alan looked at her open, honest face and smiled. Her honesty was one of the things he liked  
best about her. It almost made him trust her.  
  
"That's alright sweetheart. You haven't spoiled my evening."  
  
Serena smiled, "Let's go home. No dessert. You can get started on your papers--I know you're  
just itching to--and I'll make your nine o'clock tea early for you, I know you'll skip it  
otherwise!"  
  
He chuckled, "You know me too well."  
  
They finished up quickly and left smiling arm and arm.   
Serena scolded herself on their silent drive home.  
~I know why I'm so distracted. It's Darien. I'm seeing him too much. Perhaps I'd better  
cool things down between us--see less of him. Yes, that would be best.~  
  
And after making Alan his tea she went to her private e-mail to write him so, but found a  
message from him already.   
~Serena,  
Meet me early for breakfast tommorow? I need to talk to you about us.  
Something important's come up.  
Darien~  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~@  
  
She met Darien at the cafe near his house. He'd already ordered her a fruit salad. She  
dug in heartily.   
  
And when Darien said Ann was coming home--the one girl he felt was his true love--she reasoned  
logically, that it couldn't have come at a better time. Afterall, affairs couldn't last  
forever, and it was just starting to interfere with her marriage.  
She wished Darien all the best and kissed his cheek lightly tossling his hair affectionately  
before leaving.  
  
And when she found herself in tears in the office bathroom that afternoon she really couldn't  
figure out what was the matter with her.  
  
She left work early, got herself home, and soaked in a long hot bath to sooth her nerves.  
  
Alan, finding she'd left work when he called, immediately assumed she was ill and hurried home  
to look after her. He cooked her dinner and insisted she go to bed early and rest.  
  
Serena, touched by his concern (blind to it's insensitivity in simply forcing a solution on  
her) fell asleep content, feeling at last her life was in order; ignoring the strange ache that  
couldn't possibly be coming from her heart.  
  
*************  
  
Life continued on in the usual way for the next six months.  
  
Serena buried herself in her work. Many a lunch hour found her at the Bistro, surrounded by   
files and papers, on her cell phone between bites.  
  
Lita shook her head and forced many a free dessert on her. But she was the only one that   
suspected something was wrong. To everyone else she seemed back to her driven, relentless self.  
Alan complimented her focus and clearheadedness with honest admiration. She'd never seemed  
more focused.  
  
So it would have seemed that Darien was a thing of the past, save for a couple of things.  
Inexplicably, one saturday when Alan was away, she went to the gallery to look at Darien's show.  
She hadn't really seen any of his finished work before.  
  
The collection was titled "Why Are Trees Beautiful?" and featured over a dozen, six foot oil  
paintings and several charcoal sketches of trees and the various myths connected with them.  
Serena traced them with awe. The rough, textured bark, the light off the leaves, it was all  
absolutely beautiful. She stopped at one in particular and caught her breath. An enormous  
trunk was hollowed out in the painting, and blended in so that she was almost hidden from view  
was a nymph. She had to stare for several long moments just to find her. Her wistful eyes  
gazed out with a mixture of innocence and longing.  
  
She'd left the gallery shaken. Startled at the effect his work had had on her. Unsure of why  
she went in the first place. Refusing to admit she missed him.  
  
The fact that beauty fascinated him; that he studied it with such skill, pulled at her from  
the inside out like nothing else had for a long, long time. Feelings she had given up on  
long ago, had flooded her senses, frightened and delighted her.  
  
She wondered how he was doing. If he was happy....  
  
It was many weeks later that she snuck out in the evening to a poetry reading across town, to   
read anonomously to a crowd of strangers, some of the intimate writings she'd made about Darien.  
  
She didn't know why she needed to do it. But she did. Giving in to the restless, bothersome  
ache that had been haunting her solitude since seeing his work.  
  
She stood up and read in a soft, clear voice,  
  
"so strange you are my lover  
and touch me in the night  
when you are kind and so unselfish  
beauty finds itself so sweetly  
in your body  
And yet tonight  
you lay peacefully beneath me  
content in body, sleeping softly  
spent and made.  
How did I ever become so cruel  
to use such a man as you  
to satisfy this emptiness of mine?  
Why do you let me return  
over and over  
Why do you surrendor, such pleasure to me?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
It was the second Sunday of the month, so Serena was sitting in a cozy cafe in town, sipping  
tea over her dessert with her two best friends. They'd made a ritual of it since University,  
so that they'd never lose touch.   
There were some months when it was just she and Rei, for Mina's modeling took her round the world  
to various fabulous--and some not so fabulous--locations.   
  
Rei was Darien's cousin and knew nothing of their affair. They told no one.  
No one, under ANY circumstances, they had agreed, before, during OR after it had ended.  
  
Today Serena was biting back the urge to ask about Darien. Afraid her eyes would somehow  
betray her. But desperately yearning to know how he was. Mina was chatting about her last   
shoot and relating some hilarious story involving some sort of hideous insect landing on her   
nose and making her scream.  
  
They all laughed, picturing the tall, beautiful blond giving her piercing shriek and causing  
the nervous, stuttery little camera man to tip over the tripod.  
  
She also had a new boyfriend, some tall, blond swedish man name "Malachite" which apparently  
translated to Malcolm in english. A new boyfriend was not uncommon for Mina, but the way  
she spoke about this one, half shy, saying very little about him, made her friends realize   
that he must be very special to her.  
  
Rei and Serena exchanged looks of approval.   
  
Then Rei told of her latest project at work, how Chad and the kids were doing, and finally,  
what she thought of Darien's new show.  
  
Serena's eyes lit up, "Oh, how is Darien lately?" She asked, trying desperately to sound  
casual.  
  
But the fact that it was the first time she had directly asked about Darien was not lost on  
Rei. She hid the odd echo of thoughts it caused her and smiled innocently.  
  
"Pretty well I guess. His ex-girlfriend Ann came home a few months ago and they got back  
together."  
  
"Oh?" Her voice was only strained by the barest fraction. ~Stupid, stupid.~ she scolded  
herself.  
  
"Who's this Ann?? When did they go out? Give us the scoop Rei!" Mina giggled and Serena had  
never loved her more than at that moment.  
  
"Ann's a painter--abstract actually. She and Darien went to College together and he was   
smitten with her. They seemed happy enough but when she went to Paris to extend her studies,  
she broke it off with him. He was completely crushed. He's so idealistic you know--"  
  
Serena choked down the urge to scream, "I KNOW!"  
  
"--thinks there's one person for everyone, forever. It's silly really. So when she asked for  
him when she came home he thought it was fate or something. They've been together ever since."  
  
Serena felt oddly like crying, or laughing, or screaming. But she simply smiled and asked   
lightly, "Do you think they'll stay together?"  
  
Rei frowned, "I don't know. At first he seemed really happy, but lately he's seemed very...  
I dunno, despondant. It made me wonder if maybe things weren't going well between them."  
  
"Time will tell I guess." Said Mina and then changed the subject.  
  
Serena barely heard the rest of the conversation. It took her most of their few hours   
together to recover physically. She shook herself, ~Snap out of it!~  
  
She bid Rei and Mina farewell and seemed her old self as she walked away. But Rei was pensive.  
  
"I wonder..." She said to Mina. Serena seemed normal, but she hadn't mentioned Alan once  
during their lunch. Had chatted of work and nothing else. She always brought up something he  
was working on. It was small, but significant.   
  
"Wonder what?" Asked Mina.  
  
"I don't know...." Said Rei mysteriously, keeping her thoughts to herself for now.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
Serena was sitting alone in her study when her cell phone rang. Alan was away on yet another  
business trip. She had just finished up with some papers.  
  
"Hello?" She asked curiously, skipping her usually formal greeting, she hadn't been expecting  
a call.  
  
"Can you come over?" Came a strangled voice on the other end. A voice she realized at that   
moment, she would know anywhere.  
  
Her heart raced and she was on her feet before she realized, "I'll be there in ten minutes."  
  
click.  
  
Those were the only words spoken over the phone. And yet an entire conversation had   
taken place.  
  
Serena sped all the way. He'd never called her before, it was far too risky. He must be   
hurting. She had a feeling she knew why.  
  
It was confirmed when his door opened to reveal his stricken face.  
"She's gone." He said sorrowfully, with a kind of shock and confusion in his eyes,  
"I thought she was the one."  
  
"Oh Darien, I'm sorry."  
  
His eyes focused on her then, and she thought it must be a crime to be so utterly glad  
to see someone.  
  
"Will you stay?" He asked with a desperate sadness in his voice.  
  
She stepped in and closed the door behind her, "You never have to ask me." She said simply.  
  
And then he had her in his arms, and he was kissing her. Her thoughts froze for a moment,  
they rarely kissed. Not since that first time. It was too personal. He must be hurting if he  
would forget.   
  
But it never occurred to her to stop him. She let his lips move hungrily over her own. Returned  
the kiss with all the long denied yearning for him she'd been harbouring for six months.  
  
He pulled back for just a moment, drinking her in with his eyes. Her hair still tucked  
snugly up, her ivory skin and ice blue eyes, her lips red from kisses. She had on a beautiful  
sweater dress with a floppy turtleneck, creamy and soft. He gathered her up in his arms.   
Confessed to himself, in a moment of weakness, that he'd missed her terribly. That he adored   
everything about her.  
  
And then he was half carrying her to the loft. Untangling their bodies from their clothes and  
giving into the burning desire that had consumed him since the first time they met.  
  
Serena held him tight and savored every moment of it. She loved it when it was like this, when   
he took her so hungrily. He was always passionate, but times like these, he was absolutely  
breathtaking.  
  
"Oh Gods Usako, how do you do this to me?" He breathed, trying to touch every part of her at  
once beneath him.  
  
She smiled. He only used that nickname when it was really good. When he wasn't thinking.  
He had grown up in Japan, spoke it fluently. He'd told her once that the japanese translation  
of her name was Usagi, and that it was similar to the word for "bunny". "Usako" was an   
endearing way of saying it, something like 'my little bunny'.   
  
Often in moments of exquisite pleasure or passion between them she would catch him murmuring  
things to her in Japanese. And tonight was no exception. She couldn't make out most of it,  
except "Ashiteru." He moaned it softly, over and over in her ear.  
  
But she was too lost in her own pleasure to think much about it. And soon she was wrapping her  
legs around him tighter, arching her back to meet him, to get as close as she could before it  
was all over, in a blinding moment of sheer ecstasy.  
  
Afterwards, as they lay in one another's arms, she asked him again what those words meant.  
  
"What words?"  
  
"The things you say, I think they're in Japanese? What do they mean?"  
  
"Was I actually forming words?" He joked, chuckling and pulling her closer.  
  
She sighed and resigned herself to another non-answer.   
  
He ran his hand softly up her back, "Thank you." He whispered.  
  
She propped herself up to face him, "You never have to thank me." She said seriously,  
"It's always mutual."  
  
"Yes, but tonight I was....I was sad. Tonight you came over because I wanted you to."  
  
"I wanted it to."  
  
"Did you?" His voice was soft, his blue eyes gazing affectionately into hers as he pulled her  
closer.  
  
She smiled, "Yes."  
  
He sighed contently at this and tucked her under his chin, "I've missed--" he bit back the word  
'you' and used "--this." instead.  
  
She snuggled closer, "Me too."  
The warmth of his skin, the smell of his aftershave, the beat of his heart against her ear...  
she'd been aching for it all without realizing.   
  
He gently loosened her hair and let it fan out freely, running his fingers through it and she  
sighed. He'd told her ages ago how much he loved it and she was surprised. Keeping her hair  
long was something she did purely for herself....could it be significant that it pleased him  
too?  
  
"I've missed your hair." He teased softly.  
  
She giggled a little, "Oh have you?"  
  
"Yup, nothing else really, just the hair."  
  
She poked him in the side playfully, "Liar!"  
  
He laughed at this and caught her hands to stop her from tickling him again.  
Their eyes met and he kissed her fingertips gently, watched her eyes soften with satisfaction.  
Then he pulled her close again and rubbed her back lightly till she fell asleep. Savoring the  
sweet smell of her and the soft feel of her long after she'd drifted off. He was far too  
glad to see her than he should be. Fortunately he fell asleep before he could figure out why.  
  
When they woke early he filled the tub with hot water and carried her into it. It was a lovely  
old antique tub that sat on four ornate legs and filled up quite deep. It was something of  
a tradition for them and Serena loved it.  
  
She giggled like a little girl as he carried her in with him, the warm water making everything  
softer. They splashed each other playfully and then she wrapped herself round him and trailed  
kisses down his throat and chest--the old game quickly gave way to the new and soon they were  
lost again, seeking hungrily in one another for release.  
  
This was their pure time. Without guilt, without worry, without thought of anything or  
anyone but each other. It was perfect, absolutely perfect, thought Darien as her soft body  
pleasured him again. And once again he couldn't help the words from spilling out, words he  
couldn't possibly translate for her, words his heart surrendered against his will.  
  
He had never known a woman who made him lose control, and not just one time, but everytime.  
He'd long attributed it to circumstances, the fact that it was an affair. But since Ann had   
come home he'd been wondering.....not consciously, but in a vague, undercurrent of a way.  
  
And now, as he felt himself losing it again, the feeling returned, burning at the back of his  
mind, forcing soft words in Japanese from his throat. Words he shouldn't be saying, couldn't be  
meaning, but was.  
  
He found himself treasuring every second, memorizing details he shouldn't be, the soft sound  
of her moan, the touch of her skin, the pressure of her hips against his, the arch of her  
back and the slight smile she always had when they made love.  
But then, in the last moment he forgot it all, lost to the height of their peak. He held her  
tight till her body stilled and then tilted her face up to meet his,  
"You work some sort of magic over me." And he meant it completely.  
  
But she only laughed and kissed his nose impulsively before pulling them both out of the tub and  
wrapping him up in towels.  
  
He watched her dry off, and then let down that amazing length of hair again, brushing it out  
as she walked over to her clothes and dropped her towel. He caught his breath at the sight   
she made, golden sunlight on her skin, hair trailing to her ankles...  
  
"Gods Serena, you look beautiful."  
  
She spun around then and blushed with embarrassment at the earnest tone of his voice when he  
said it. He meant it.  
  
He walked over to her, laid his hands on her shoulders, "Can I sketch you some time?"  
  
She shook her head, "What?! I'd be so embarrassed, I'd--"  
  
"You'd make a breathtaking subject." He said with a mock sexy voice.  
  
She laughed, "You're crazy, you know that?"  
  
And the moment passed, freeing them to dress and have breakfast before she scooted back home.  
Pancakes with apple stars, the usual artist/business banter and then she was off, kissing him  
lightly on the cheek, revealing that she was glad to be back to him in a way words could never  
express.  
  
Darien watched after her smiling, before heading back to the loft to paint. But first he  
grabbed his sketch pad and some charcoal and outlined Serena in the turtleneck dress as best  
he could remember. The way she'd looked in the doorway. He smiled in recollection.   
He tried to capture the exact expression in her eyes. But as he looked at the finished  
drawing he felt guilt wash over him suddenly. As though he had betrayed himself somehow, as  
though he had violated their affair in some way.   
  
He tried to convince himself otherwise. Knowing exactly what his mind was reminding him.  
He must never tell her, no matter how he justified it to himself, that it was he that had  
left Ann.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@ 


	3. Chapter 3

"So Strange You Are My Lover"  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Author: Silent Moon  
E-mail: silentmoonstar@yahoo.com  
Rated: R  
Genre: Romance/Alternate Reality  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
"I've, laid down love, for you.  
And words,  
Unravel before me,  
Like water  
Like clay  
  
And I'm building what we are with trembling hands  
I'm stumbling down this golden road, blinded by you  
And it aches, to look it through  
  
Oh perfect you  
With your skin  
Beneath my fingers  
Beneath my body...  
  
I reach for you without my.....love."  
Silent Moon  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
  
  
Darien sighed as he laid back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head,  
trying to look relaxed and unbothered as his cousin stared wide eyed in shock at him from   
across the table.  
  
"Don't you sigh at me Darien Chiba! What do you mean? You...just...broke up with her? Just   
like that?"  
  
"Yes Rei, I just snapped my fingers and it was done!" He bit out sarcastically.  
  
"That's not what I meant and you know it!" She retorted, then she softened, "I just meant that,  
well, you were so serious about her. What changed? I thought you were happy to have her  
back."  
  
"So did I...at first." He said with genuine confusion in his voice...and something else, a kind  
of tragic insight not yet found.  
  
She waited patiently for him to continue, encouraging him with her eyes...for Rei could be   
very sensitive when she wanted. And this was a serious matter.   
  
"I...well I thought it was fate when she came back you know. And I really did care for her  
when we studied together. I always felt like Ann understood me in some way no one else could.  
And I just overlooked that she could be a little self-centered sometimes.....and when she went  
away and said she wanted to start her life over--without me--I was devastated. But when she  
came home she was different, it was like all the little things I used to let go were exaagerated.  
We bickered constantly, but she still wanted to make it work. But I realized I didn't. I don't   
know why, but I just knew it was over, and that nothing could ever bring it back for me, and  
and worst of all......I don't know if I ever really loved her--I mean truly."  
He finished quietly, as if it were the most horrible thing to be uttered in the Universe.  
  
Rei smiled, "Oh you goose! You're always so dramatic! But you know, you can love someone  
and then realize that it's not passionate love, or deep love or even true love. You were very  
young when you fell in love with Ann. How could you have known it wasn't the real thing?"  
  
"Because I should have just *known* Rei! Gods! Me of all people! I've been searching for it   
all my life!"  
  
"That doesn't make you anymore prepared then the rest of us dear."   
  
He frowned, but saw the funny side of her tone, "Cousin I think you mock me!"  
  
"Who me? Mock you?"  
  
He rolled his eyes at her and she laughed, sipping her tea, "Don't worry! I'm sure someday, you  
will meet someone just as romantic as you are!"  
  
He smiled but his eyes became distant, as though her were thinking of something, "What about  
someone who doesn't believe in love at all?" He asked vaguely, muttering it so she could   
barely hear.  
  
~Ha!~ She thought, ~There's only one person I know that doesn't believe in love and that's--~  
Her thoughts froze abruptly, ~....Serena...~  
An odd connection began to form in Rei's mind--though she knew it was crazy. She kept it  
quiet but tested the waters a bit by saying aloud,  
"There's only one person I know of that doesn't believe in love! You remember my friend   
Serena?"  
  
Darien--unlike Serena--masked his feelings rather well and managed to start only a fraction  
at her name--but Rei noticed anyway.  
  
"Yes. She...doesn't?" He asked, trying to sound indifferent.  
  
"Mhmm." She said both to him and herself, confirming...  
  
"But she's married isn't she?" He joked weakly.  
  
Rei laughed, "Oh, that has nothing to do with love as far as she's concerned!"  
  
Darien raised his eyebrows, but his heart was beating strangely. It brought him an odd sense  
of relief....as though some part of him had been holding it's breath for a long time and  
suddenly released it....to know she did not love her husband....had never loved him?  
  
"Why on earth did she get married then?" He blurted with suspicious curiousity.  
  
Rei shrugged, "Because she wanted to. Alan brought order to her life when she was surrounded  
by chaos and couldn't decide what to do. She struggled a lot trying to decide on a career  
you know, she wanted to do *everything*."  
  
Darien bit back a smile. That sounded about right.  
  
"But she did decide early on, that love does not really exist. I don't know why--she just   
stopped believing. So marrying Alan when she admired him seemed right."  
  
Rei frowned.  
  
"You don't think she made the right decision?" He asked.  
  
"I don't know. Yes and no. Sometimes I think she did because Alan keeps her so steady and  
focused and...organized....but other times she just seems so...I don't know...starved for   
something else....she really is interested in everything you know? She can't seem to find  
the compromise."  
  
Darien nodded. Of course he knew. He met her at an Art Show for God's sakes! She came to him  
when that hunger was too much to bear....when she needed passion--blind and uncomplicated  
and pure. And he had it to offer her...for some reason unknown to him. What did that mean?  
  
Rei left him to his thoughts while she finished her tea.   
  
**********************************************************************************************  
  
Elsewhere....at the other side of the city, Serena was sitting in her office, busily sidling  
through files and papers, typing with one hand at a computer, all seriousness and focus when  
Amy came in.   
  
"Serena? Can I talk to you for a moment?"  
  
Serena looked up blankly a moment but then smiled, "Of course Amy!" She dropped everything  
and cleared her desk, ushering the short haired woman into the chair opposite her.  
  
Amy secretly smiled, impressed at how quickly Serena put everything aside for anyone. She was  
admired through the entire office for it.  
  
"I wanted you to be the first to know..." She began as Serena closed the door behind her and   
returned to her desk.  
  
"Yes?" She asked, smiling curiously at her.  
  
Amy leaned across the desk and clasped her good friend's hands, "I-I'm going to have a baby!"  
  
Serena stared blankly at her a moment, smile still frozen in place, "A baby?"  
  
Amy smiled, "Yes, yes. Greg and I have been trying for a while. We haven't mentioned to anyone  
but now that I am, I wanted you to be the first to hear! I'm so happy!"  
  
"Oh Amy I'm so glad!" She said sincerely--already planning a shower.  
  
Amy's face was flushed with excitement, "We're moving to a bigger apartment, with a room for   
the baby and Greg's already buying things for the nursury!" She shook her head,  
"Can you believe him? He's already bought a stroller!"  
  
The two girls laughed.  
  
"He's just excited." Serena smiled, then looking at Amy added, "Almost as excited as you!"  
  
Amy chuckled, then stood, "Well, I'd better get back to work..."  
  
"Thanks for telling me Amy." Serena said sincerely, "It means a lot to me that you wanted me  
to be the first to know."  
  
Amy turned, "You're one of the best women I've ever met." She said honestly, "And it was you  
that introduced Greg and I in the first place. I feel, in some way, you're a part of all this.  
That's why I wanted you to know first."  
  
Serena's face became serious, as though the words were so beautiful they hurt.  
"Th-thank you." She stammered emotionally.  
  
Then Amy grew serious, "Now, I know you will try and plan a baby shower--but you really don't   
have to, I--"  
  
"Amy, I'll hear no such nonsense! Get out of my office this instant!" Serena laughed, pushing  
her out the door.  
  
Amy tried in vain to deter her but knew it was futile. She also knew what kind of a shower  
Serena would throw, and it would be embarrassing to have such an affair made out of it. She  
sighed.  
  
Serena meanwhile, was already on the phone with the best bakery in town, smiling as she wound  
the phone cord round her finger.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
Although Amy had been expecting a huge affair for the shower, and Serena had been tempted  
to, Amy was pleasently surprised to find it a small, intimate gathering.  
Serena hosted it at her place, had delicious food, a warm fire blazing and just close friends  
and aquaintances.   
Amy's sister and cousin's were present--one of them flown in from the other side of the country!  
And Serena had invited Rei and Mina and even Lita from the Bistro in a sudden moment of   
inspiration.  
They were well underway in unwrapping gifts and enjoying wine when Alan came home. He'd been  
very cross at the idea of having the shower in their home, but not nearly as cross as Serena  
had been at him for insinuating it should be held elsewhere. Alan thought it forboding of   
another argument about children and watched her organize darkly.  
  
He walked briskly through and made a polite "Hello." accompanied by a weak smile, before   
disappearing into his study---though not before raising his eyebrows at Lita's presence.  
  
Serena was all bubbly with enthusiasm, caught up in the excitement of the gifts, oblivious  
to her husbands patronizing gaze and tone.   
  
The shower was a great success. Amy was delighted with her gifts, hugged and thanked everyone,  
even Serena's friends. Everyone was so wonderful and she seemed to hit it off with Rei  
immediately since she already had children of her own and had many sweet and hilarious stories  
to tell.  
  
It was late in the evening when everyone had gone, Amy was the last to leave--save for   
Rei, who stayed to help her clean up--hugging Serena with slightly teary eyes, alight with   
gratitude and sincerity.  
  
"Thank you, it was perfect, just perfect!"  
  
"I was tempted to made a big tidoo but thought the better of it." Serena smiled.  
  
Amy just nodded empathetically and left to meet Greg at the door with the first armload of gifts  
to take to the car.  
  
Rei was gathering up the next bunch as Serena walked over. She picked up the beautiful, antique  
bear Rei had brought with some baby clothes and smiled.  
"I think this bear was the most beautiful gift Rei."  
  
Rei grinned, "It's lovely isn't it? I didn't pick it out though--you'll never guess who did!"  
  
"Who? Chad?"  
  
"No, Darien!"  
  
Serena had a hard time not dropping it at that point. She raised her eyebrows, "Darien picked   
it out?"  
  
"Yup, I mentioned briefly to him that one of your friends at work was pregnant and I was   
invited to the shower and he brought over a bear last visit and insisted I add it to my   
present! I thought it was sweet..."  
  
Serena looked down at the exquisite bear and felt an odd lump in her throat. Amy returned  
mercifully at that moment and the gifts were carried to the car.  
  
Rei chatted lightly of children and babies and pregnancy as they cleaned up the dishes and Serena  
nodded, barely listening. She asked a few questions but held back--and Rei could tell--from  
getting too much into it.  
  
She and Alan had had a terrible argument some months ago about children. It had not started or  
finished well and there was still some lingering tension over it. She knew Alan hadn't wanted  
the shower and she didn't want to push her luck.  
  
Rei knew nothing of this and wondered oddly at it. Serena had seemed so joyous during the shower  
and now she was holding back, almost nervous. So she broached the obvious question,  
"Serena, do you want children?"  
  
Serena nearly dropped the plate she was carrying but instead clutched it far too tightly, her  
face going pale. A sudden clatter from the study confessed Alan was listening and Rei watched  
her suddenly trembling friend aghast.  
  
"N-no Rei, I...don't." She said softly.  
  
Rei frowned oddly but decided to leave well enough alone--at least until that wretched Alan  
was out of earshot--imagine eavesdropping on your wife!  
  
After Rei left, Serena crept quietly to bed, anticipating a stern lecture from Alan, but found  
he had fallen asleep reading. She breathed a secret sigh of relief and carefully tucked away  
his glasses and book before climbing into bed herself. But she did not sleep for many hours,  
her heart ached oddly as she tried not to think about babies and the beautiful, antique bear  
from Darien.....She fought back the question needling her mind with enough sharpness to  
belay it's significance.....but it crept out anyway, flickering in her mind like a shadow..  
~Does Darien want children?~  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
Serena avoided Rei that week, knowing she'd demand the whole story and still too hearbroken to   
speak of it. Alan was cool with her and left on a lengthy business trip to Japan for two weeks  
without so much as a kiss goodbye.   
  
Serena worked her bruised soul till she hadn't a spare moment free to think of anything, but   
when Amy came by her office to thank her again for the beautiful baby shower and ask her to  
help pick out names she could bear it no longer. She fairly flew over to Darien's that night,  
arriving breathless at the door and surprising him, covered in paint.  
  
She regarded him with awe, comfort and something akin to relief. Had he ever looked so handsome?  
Rough clothes, bare feet, paint all over him, his hair mussed and unkept.   
  
"Hello.." He said curiously, as if to ask `What are you doing here?`  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't call....I came straight from work...."  
  
"It's ten o'clock at night." He observed incredulously.  
  
"I-I know, I've been putting in some overtime this week..."  
  
He wiped his hands off on his pants and pulled her in, "Is something the matter?"  
He asked softly and knew the answer when she didn't let go of him.  
  
"I...no...I just need--"  
  
He silenced her with his eyes and pushed her back a little, "You're going to ruin your clothes."  
  
She smiled wryly, "I don't care."  
  
He chuckled and walked her upstairs where he'd covered the painting and began to put his paints  
away carefully while she tossed her jacket carelessly aside.   
  
"Can I help?" She asked, walking over.  
  
"Uh, yeah, here, you can carry these to the sink."  
  
She fumbled with the paints but then carried them as though they were made of glass, walking  
carefully to the sink, making him smile.  
  
He put the rest of his things away and headed to the bathroom to wash up, finding her right  
behind him. He laughed.  
  
"Are you following me?"  
  
She nodded and then bent to turn on the faucets, "Here, I'll turn the shower on so you don't   
get paint everywhere."  
  
He nodded, stripping off his wet clothes, but when she was done he was surprised to have her   
climb in with him, washing the paint diligently from his hands and arms.  
She didn't usually, whenever he was covered in paint, she always let him wash up first.  
  
He regarded her with surprise, but she offered no explanation. So he watched her carefully,  
trying to see what it was that had prompted a sudden visit...no phone call.  
But the only thing he could feel was a deep, deep loneliness in her. How sad her eyes looked,  
though she tried desperately to mask it. She'd been working overtime, something must be on her  
mind.  
  
He tilted her chin up, "Hey." He said gently.  
  
"Hmm?" She asked, still focused on the stubborn oil paint clinging to his fingertips.  
  
"I'm glad you came over."  
  
She looked at him then, and smiled in spite of herself. The tenderness in his eyes and voice  
wrapping round her again. He could see her relax a bit and let out a breath she'd been   
holding.  
  
He pulled her close then and let the hot water run over them both, letting her hair down on  
a sudden impulse. She usually didn't like to get it wet when she was over, since it took so  
long to dry, but tonight she said nothing, and let the water soak it as it wrapped around them  
both--making him feel that he'd somehow stumbled into a beautiful faerytale.  
  
And she clung to him, drawing the one thing she needed, the one thing she could not name. She   
felt his lips at her throat, trailing down and desire crept slowly up to meet him from her skin.  
Then it all became blurred, hazy with the beauty that sprung up between them   
everytime....effortless. She was wrapping her legs about him and he was pressing her back   
against the cool tiles of the shower wall, and pleasure was creating itself anew.   
  
If he'd been aware at all the words she was murmuring would have reached him. But as it was,   
they didn't. Soft, desperate words about feeling crushed, distressed, lonely and defeated.  
Words about needing him, more than anything else....anything at all....  
  
It was long hours later, deep in the night with the full moon high and bright, that they  
crept out of the bathroom and into the loft.   
Serena's long hair trailing silver in the moonlight down her back and he was catching his breath  
again. Surely she was the most beautiful creature on this earth? There could be no one else.  
  
He approached her carefully, and pulled the towel gently off, "Let me sketch you tonight?"  
He said so softly in her ear.  
  
She turned wide eyes on him, "Are-are you sure you...want to?" She asked weakly.  
  
He smiled and pulled her with him to get his sketch pad and charcoal.   
And she let him, standing bathed in moonlight, long hair curving round, she let him sketch her  
like some beautiful goddess or nymph....it was an experience like no other in her life, to be  
looked at in such a way....to *be* that girl....  
  
Darien worked fervantly, without stopping, knowing this was probably his one chance to capture   
her so.   
Charcoal covered page after page with the beautiful curve of her back, the soft shape of her  
face, the depth of her eyes......the pages were vested with some emotion in him too strong to  
name and he knew it.   
  
Finally, she padded slowly across the floor to him where he sat, still wrapped in a towel himself,  
sketch pad in his lap, charcoal smeared on his hands. She came round and caught her breath,  
sketch after perfect sketch and a queer ache started up from her heart and ran down her body  
till it was everywhere.....  
  
She turned almost tragic eyes on him, so full suddenly of emotion, so touched as she hadn't  
been before, raw and new, "Is that how you see me?" Her voice was a choked notch above a   
whisper, hoarse with ethereal pain.  
  
His eyes were the only answer, and he nodded very slowly, wondering at her reaction. And then  
she launched herself full at him, tossing him over backwords and kissing him breathless. Hands  
and legs and beautiful, beautiful hair tangling all around him.  
  
"Mmph!" He managed in surprise, but quickly returned it, letting his fingers leave smoky trails  
down her back as desire renewed itself through his body. She pulled off his towel and for the  
first time, made love to him, seduced her own lover........  
  
And he knew. Knew this time she was giving to him, with a kind of gratitude, the one thing  
perfect between them, to speak for her heart.  
  
He succumbed to pleasure with a loss of control that put their previous encounters to shame, but  
confessed the loss of something else to her....  
  
But she was unaware of this, knowing only the satisfaction of a woman, satisfying her lover,   
returning what is usually given. He held her with shaky hands, at once fulfilled and helpless  
beneath her and she collected his trembling body to hers this time, soothing it with the steady  
beat of her heart till he simply sighed and dozed lazily, his face tucked beneath her chin.  
  
She left the next morning, after the usual round of pancakes with apples, coffee and banter.  
And though Alan was away all week, she did not return. She knew that night was something she  
would treasure in some place in her Alan could not reach. And it bothered her. It had been  
too perfect to be rationalized away as simply fanciful. She spent long hours contemplating this  
until Alan's return.  
  
Darien meanwhile, had crept back up to the loft after she left, heavy hearted. Stepped through  
the tangle of towels and sketches to sit down by his sketchpad, coffee in hand, and bow his head  
in a storm of sorrow and realization that would not wash down. Something wasn't right.  
Something was missing in his thoughts. Something burning to be confessed he could not claim.  
He was fearful, weak and at the same time exulted, as though free in some way never realized  
before.  
  
He though of Serena, such a goddess in the moonlight.....the most beautiful thing in his life,  
a life he spent in pursuit of beauty.....  
He looked down at the sketches scattered about and realized what was wrong. While he was barely  
a part of her life, she had somehow crept into all of his.   
It wasn't fair.   
Not because she would ever intentionally hurt him, or tip the scales off balance. But because  
she could not now, nor ever be subtracted from it. He would always welcome her. And that  
was not right. What sort of affair had this become?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~@ 


	4. Chapter 4

So Strange You Are My Lover  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Author: Silent Moon  
E-mail: silentmoonstar@yahoo.com  
Rated: R  
Genre: Romance/Alternate Reality  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
It was late in the night and Darien was working feverishly, sketching, painting....his hands  
working restlessly to create.   
He hadn't slept in days. Hadn't wanted to. And he knew. This was not inspiration. No  
sweet muse had crept into his heart, whispering to his fingertips....this was release,   
realization.....and denial. For he could not believe, with every astonishing image he made,  
that this could all be real. And yet it was.  
  
And as he finished another painting, his mind suddenly settled on one last thing. How it must  
conclude. His heart grabbed painfully at that thought, but in spite of it he made a decision.  
He knew what he must do.  
  
  
  
Like Serena, he had avoided Rei all week too. He didn't want to talk to anyone, didn't want to  
break the silence after that incredible night, as though that would somehow stretch it to   
eternity.  
He sighed, cleaning up after his madness and mess. He'd been possessed this week. Anguish  
made for great artwork--he understood that completely now--but it didn't make bearing it any  
easier.  
  
But what was a man to do? In love with a woman he could not have, what recourse could he take?  
And how, in such a world, had Serena become the love of his life? It was almost laughable, the  
contrast between them! But that was surface and all at once he realized how foolish it was  
to believe that things like lifestyle and career confessed the truth of someone's character. The  
answer to whether they were compatible or not.   
  
But Serena was no simple woman either. He knew she didn't believe in love and so, probably had   
none of these thoughts. She was married because it seemed practical and logical and those  
were the only things she would credit herself with believing in. It was amazing to him that such  
a passionate, lustrious woman could likewise be driven, composed and fascinatingly intelligent.  
  
But such was the mystery of the Universe. Alive in this one woman's heart. And now he had   
pulled her closer and deeper then he could ever free himself of, all by thinking that he was  
lending himself to something meaningless--no strings attached--surrendoring to desire only.  
  
But desire wasn't just one thing. It was everything. It had been the sign and he had stupidly  
thought he could manipulate it. And now?   
  
~And now?~ He thought bitterly. ~What is it I want? Why am I torturing myself this way?~  
He knew, though he hated to admit it because he knew Serena didn't realize, but it was true, he  
did have the best and the most of her--more than anyone else. But it wasn't enough.  
~Ah love. Suddenly I'm the most selfish man in the world.~  
  
He thought of that amazing body, arched gracefully to his, her every sense and pulse and breath  
for him alone in those moments.....but another, disturbing image came to mind....more of a   
question really. It sprung up before he could stop it and quickly began to gnaw at him from the   
inside. A thought about Serena and her husband. Did they? Could they? Had they--of course   
they had! He scolded himself angrily.   
  
But the thought of them together....of Serena returning to his arms after leaving his was   
horrible, more horrible than anything he ever recalled feeling before.  
  
He pushed those thoughts back, forced himself to stop the rush of emotion they brought. But  
as he stood back and let his eyes trace the confines of his studio he shook his head. The   
horrid feeling rushed over him, followed by waves of burning, ethereal pleasure and pain.  
Jealousy, possesiveness, joy, futility, release, anguish, heartache....  
  
He sank slowly to his knees, looking at all his work....all of her....  
  
And that's when a knock came at the door. He sucked in a breath.  
~No, not now, not now please.....~  
  
But it was indeed her, she was turning to leave by the time he hid all his work and covered the   
paintings still drying.  
  
"Serena?" He said hoarsely as she was walking down the hall.  
  
He should have let her go. But he didn't.  
  
She turned back, eyes alight and intent on his. She approached him slowly and he took a step  
back.  
  
"I didn't think you were home."  
  
"I was working...couldn't just leave it like that...sorry.."  
  
"I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have come...."  
  
He shook his head and managed a weak smile, "You know I don't mind."  
  
She smiled back and he reached out and drew her inside, gazing down tenderly at her.  
She buried her face in his chest and just stayed there a moment, listening to the rapid beat  
of his heart, laying against the rise and fall of his chest.  
Amazing, this living, breathing man was before her, enjoying her touch as much as she enjoyed  
his. She looked up suddenly, lips parted to tell him how she felt when she surprised an  
expression of rather anguished hunger on his face. It was gone almost instantly but it made  
her suck in her breath and forget all about what she was going to say.  
  
"Darien?" She asked uncertainly.  
  
"I..." He began but trailed off, "I've...been kind of lonely lately..." He concluded lamely,   
wincing at the sound of his own lie.  
  
Serena however, took it to mean that he missed Ann and that one thought cut rather sharply into  
her.  
  
"Oh..." She choked out.  
  
But then in the next instant he swept her into his arms, "Did I ever tell you.....how   
breathtaking you are in the moonlight darling?" He finished by dipping her back and pressing  
his nose playfully to hers.  
  
She giggled, "Why no honeybuns! Do I?" She played along beautifully.  
  
"You do indeed! I think I had better carry you up the stairs this instant!" That said he  
slung her over his shoulder and carted her up to the loft.  
  
"Oh, this is SO romantic." She remarked dryly.  
  
He dropped her down into the bed, "Just call me Don Juan." He smirked.  
  
She arched an eyebrow at him but then it melted into a warm smile. She offered her arms to him  
and he came down to meet her.  
The lamp was still on and it was now she noticed the dark circles under his eyes. Looking around  
she realized he'd been working non-stop.  
  
"You haven't slept have you?" She said with concern, tracing the sallows about his beautiful  
eyes.  
Her voice was laced with such tenderness that he felt himself breaking.  
  
"When inspiration strikes!" He joked weakly.  
  
She smiled lightly but was soft and careful undressing him, laying him down and making love   
so carefully he knew that had he not already been in love with her, he would have fallen  
swiftly tonight.  
  
She was slow and deliberate, stroking at his skin and murmuring sweet things to him. But she  
held back torturously whenever he moved to change the pace. Giggling at his disappointed  
face as she stretched the sensations out till he ached for her throughout.  
  
But he knew her too well and pretty soon the joke was on her. Making love slowly always  
ended up pleasing her deeply. And so it was her body stiffening about his in anticipation,   
slender legs urging him closer till the release came, long and rich and darkly satisfying  
as she tensed and spent beneath him.  
  
He gathered her up chuckling at how the tables turned and she sighed, "I hope you learned your  
lesson." She murmured, snuggling closer and he laughed outright at that.  
  
But then he settled, molding her to the curve of his body round her and fell fast asleep.  
She watched his still face for a few moments before drifting off herself. But she dreamt of  
being pregnant--her rounded belly warm and satisfying--and felt deleriouslly happy. She awoke  
with a start and found Darien leaning on one elbow, staring softly down at her as he stroked her  
arm.  
  
"Sorry, did I wake you?" He whispered.  
  
"Mmmmno. Bad dream."  
  
He gathered her to him, soothing touch warm and lovely. She laid a kiss to his chest and  
mumbled something he couldn't quite make out but smiled anyway.  
  
"Hey..." He whispered, stroking her back, "...moon princess..."  
  
"Hmmm?" She muttered dazedly.  
  
He chuckled and pulled her sleepy face up to kiss her forehead, "'night."  
  
"'night...." She returned.  
  
But he stayed awake long hours holding her, love burning it's suffering out silent in the night  
as he basked in it's strange glow.   
  
  
  
The next morning, as he sat sleepily over coffee, watching her eat heartily with half-joking  
awe, he felt the question still burning to be asked. But he must not ask it.   
  
They chatted rather listlessly of the usual--but the apple stars still gleamed from the pancakes,  
and their wit was still quick--though rather flat.  
It seemed their minds were elsewhere and indeed they were.  
  
Finally Serena stood to go, heading for the door when he stopped her, catching her suddenly   
by the shoulders,  
"I have to ask you something...."  
  
"Yes?" Her wide blue eyes fixed on his.  
  
"I've no right to ask...but...Serena...do you...I mean....while we've been....do you and  
your husband make love?"  
  
He watched her face still a moment and a brief frown flashed before she replied,  
"No..."  
Then she met his eyes steadily, "No. No we don't....I--"  
  
"No, no don't finish. I shouldn't have asked! I have no right! Forget I ever did I--"  
  
"Darien, Darien! It's all right." She cut in, shaking him by the shoulders a bit to stop  
him. Then she stared deep into his eyes, "C-Can I ask you something?"  
  
Something flickered in his eyes briefly, "Anything."  
  
"Do you....do you want children?"  
  
He regarded her face, remembered how Ann hadn't wanted any....how he'd tried to pretend it  
was okay....  
"Yes." He said quietly, his eyes solemn, "Yes, I want them."  
  
She nodded slowly, then she turned, caressing his face absently, "I have to go."  
  
He sat a long time after she left, by his window, trying to collect himself.  
  
What was this coming to?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
Serena meanwhile, rushed home, her thoughts spinning and then focusing dangerously.  
She was waiting for Alan when he arrived home in full wrath--regardless of how he hated  
to be confronted in such a manner.  
  
"Hello d--" He began briskly but she cut in.  
  
"Why haven't we made love?" She bit out abruptly.  
  
"Wh--at?" He managed, staggered.  
  
"You haven't made love to me since..." He mind calculated, "...since we had that argument  
about children." Her eyes widened with shock and if possible, she got even angrier as   
realization hit her, "You don't trust me!"  
  
Alan collected himself at this point, "Well ofcourse I don't. You really want a baby! What   
was I to do?"  
  
"I'm your wife Alan, you should trust me!"  
  
He just stared at her, his silence speaking volumes.  
  
"I would NEVER conceive an unwanted child with you." She spat coldly.  
  
"You still want children."  
  
"Not with you! Not if you don't!"  
  
This incurred the argument over children all over again.  
  
"Work is my love--"  
  
"So am I!" She cut in harshly.  
  
"I thought we had the same goals, a baby would interfere with your life."   
  
"My life? Alan, I work all day, everyday. That's not living!"  
  
"How can you say that?"  
  
"When your life is passed. When you're old and retired, your work won't thank you, love you,  
it will continue on without you!"  
  
He was silent again.  
  
Then he turned coldly on her, "This is the worst of you, you know."  
  
"What?"   
  
"This side of you. This childish side that clings to silly values. I thought I'd broken  
you of it, I thought you'd grown--"  
  
"Broken me of it?! What ARE you?! Have you been spending these years trying   
to break my spirit? Trying to change me? Because you can't! And I'm tired of apologizing  
for who I am!"  
  
"You're just immature. You have the potential to be--"  
  
"I won't hear it anymore Alan! THIS is who I am! THIS woman, right now!"  
  
He sighed, rolling his eyes as though indulging a foolish child.  
  
Her eyes narrowed and she knew then, as she never had before, that she did not love him.  
  
"You don't love me." she said harshly, "You only love yourself."  
  
He looked up angrily at this but she was already gone, walking away, packing a bag.  
  
"Why do you want less from our life? Why do you want to sell yourself short?--"  
  
"I won't want less Alan." She said calmly, "I want more. Children are not a burden, they're  
a blessing. Everything I've deprived myself of these years for you, it's a part of me. It   
always will be. I won't deny it any longer."  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"It's over. I'm leaving."  
  
And she was gone.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
chapter 5 soon, I promise!!! 


	5. Chapter 5

So Strange You Are My Lover  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Author: Silent Moon  
E-mail: silentmoonstar@yahoo.com  
Rated: R  
Genre: Romance/Alternate Reality  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
*  
  
She arrived at Darien's door breatless and he looked surprised--something was wrong,  
she'd just been here last night--and she had an overnight bag with her?! But besides  
that her eyes--her eyes were wild.  
  
She dropped the bag and stepped inside.  
  
"I--" She began in a voice he didn't recognize--neither did she. Her world had come  
unravelled quite suddenly.  
  
She looked right at him then, desperate for something...something...  
  
"Make me forget everything?"  
  
He seemed to consider this a moment, but then he stepped closer to her,  
"Close your eyes."  
  
She did, and he caught her face gently with his hands and kissed her....not just softly  
but completely, as he hadn't before.  
  
And it did make her forget everything.  
  
The way he kept finding another way to touch and seduce  
her--even if this was too intimate and all wrong.  
  
Afterall, you can't have an affair when you're not cheating on anyone.  
  
But she forgot that too. Wrapped herself around him tightly, let him carry her not to the loft  
but the bedroom.  
  
And she kept her eyes closed as he slowly tugged off her clothes and ran his hands and lips  
hotly over her body, till she surrendored completely.....lost it completely.  
  
Only then did she open her eyes, rush him out of his own clothes and pull him down on the   
bed to meet her.  
  
  
  
  
She didn't sleep that night--though Darien did afterwards--nor did she refuse him when  
he reached for her early that morning--but as they finished and he leaned down to kiss   
her--she stopped him.  
  
"No, no--oh we can't--we shouldn't have!"  
  
He woke fully at this and pulled her gently to a sit with him, "What's wrong?"  
  
"I-I, it's over with Alan."  
  
He stared at her a moment, a whirlwind of emotions in his eyes--but they settled  
to something gently and he said softly, "I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be. It's the right thing...but you and I can't--this can't be anymore..."  
  
He started a bit--not at her words but at the sadness he thought he caught in them.  
  
She got up and hurriedly dressed, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come--it's unfair  
for me to put you in this position--I--"  
  
He stopped her, "Serena..."  
  
She met his eyes.  
  
"Never apologize to me for what happens between us." And there was a world of meaning  
in his eyes.  
  
He walked her to the door and she turned tenderly on him, touching his face,  
"Y-You've been good to me..." and her voice broke suddenly, tears starting at her eyes.  
  
He moved to grab her but she hurried away, "Goodbye."  
  
He stared after her with supreme horror but then stopped and went to the phone.  
He was quick.  
  
"Hello?" Came Serena's reluctant voice over her cell phone.  
  
"Can we be friends?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"If we can't be lovers anymore, can we be friends?"  
  
"I-I don't know Darien....I suppose so..."  
  
"Do you have some place to stay?" He asked gently.  
  
She smiled, "Yes, with a friend of mine, Mina."  
  
"The model right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
A pause.  
  
"Friends then?"  
  
A pause from her end.  
  
"I think I'd like that. Are you sure we can do it?"  
  
"Absolutely." He replied.  
~Anything not to lose you....~  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
*  
It was some two weeks later, after Serena was settled in with Mina, organized as far as  
lawyers and divorce papers were concerned and talked out with she and Rei about the why's,  
how's, and when' of it all, that Darien called, his voice relaxed and pleasant,  
  
"Hello. How's it all going?"  
  
"Better now." She replied honestly.  
  
"How do you feel about embarking on our first "friendly" excursion?"  
  
"What did you have in mind?" She asked dryly.  
  
"It's hot enough, how about the beach?"  
  
She sighed, "No, I'm not cheerful enough yet for the beach."  
  
He chuckled, "We--ll, how about just a walk then?"  
  
"A walk would be lovely." She agreed, "Shall I meet you in the park?"  
  
"How soon?"  
  
"Say....twenty minutes?"  
  
"Perfect, meet me by the entrance gates okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
And twenty minutes later found her just so, waiting patiently for him in the first casual  
clothes he remembered seeing her in.  
  
He smiled and they chatted amiably as they walked, but he stuffed his hands in his pockets  
to resist touching her, reaching for her hand.....tucking an arm around her....he'd never  
had to stop himself before.  
  
"So how do you really feel?" He asked her gently as they walked past couple's and families  
along the trail that bordered the river.  
  
She paused, "I feel.........new."  
  
"New?"  
  
"Yes, new again. Like there's so much world and so much me to match it that I haven't  
used before. Like I've been living only one part of myself at the expense of the rest  
and now I don't know how to unravel the rest of me.....how to live all the parts of me.  
I used to struggle with that a lot.....now it's all coming back to me again....like I'm   
waking up to it again."  
  
"You're a poet." He remarked and she started visibly.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You speak like a poet. You ought to try your hand at writing some time Sere."  
  
She smiled and shook her head, "I don't know where to start or what to start with."  
  
"Why don't you make a list? List all the things you've ever wanted to do."  
  
But now she was firm, "Nope! That's too organized and I've spent *years* being organized.  
This is going to have to be a little more chaotic and random."  
  
"Spur of the moment? Fly by the seat of your pants kind of thing?"  
  
She laughed, "Exactly."  
  
He nodded, "It's do-able."  
  
He offered his arm, "Shall we dine Madam? At some out of the way little cafe perhaps?"  
  
"Lovely." She assented chuckling and took his arm.  
  
And dine they did. Chatting and jesting for hours, lingering over dessert. Serena had never  
spent time with Darien besides the affair, and she found his company delightful.   
~What a lively, wonderful man!~ She thought, ~It must be the artist life style.....so relaxed.~  
  
But she was to be proven wrong for as they walked down the darkend streets that night  
Darien suddenly grabbed her hand on impulse and dragged her into a nightclub.  
  
"Come on, let's go dancing!"  
  
"Wh-at?" She cried in shock.  
  
But in he pulled her and onto the dance floor, to the centre of pounding rhythms and  
dancing bodies.  
  
But the surprising part was that he could dance! He danced with her late late into the night  
till they were both breathless, laughing and carrying on. When they stumbled out into the  
streets she turned incredulously on him,  
"I didn't know you could dance!"  
  
"What, you think just because I paint that all I listen to is classical  
music?"  
  
Her silence was answer enough and he laughed.  
  
She shook her head as they walked home,  
~There's so much I don't know....~  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
The friendship that sprung up between them was a wonderful one. Though there were a few   
obstacles to overcome. The first being how to tell Rei--as well as their other friends--how  
they met. They decided to half-lie and say they met at a recent art show and realized who  
the other was in connection with Rei and simply hit it off well.   
  
Everyone accepted the story beautifully--though Rei had a funny look in her eyes as she nodded.  
She always did have an eerie sixth sense.  
  
But besides Rei's suspicions it seemed to work rather well. Afterall, they really hadn't  
ever spent time together just talking. There was so much they didn't know about one  
another so far as details and opinions were concerned.  
  
And suddenly the weekends were spent with Rei and her family and Mina  
and Malcolm when they could make it, and Darien. Delightful sailing trips and saturdays  
at the beach. Without the guilt of Alan's constant working Serena embraced her new freedom  
with open arms--at least on weekends.  
  
She even published a short volume of poetry under a pen name, which she told no one about,  
but secretly exulted in.  
  
And she and Darien often went out evenings for dinner, sometimes dancing. He became her  
closest confidante besides Rei. And every group outing that spilled into evening, when  
everyone had their spouse or significant other to turn to, she had Darien.  
  
But she was firm with her friends that it stopped there. There was nothing romantic between   
them. And to Rei's complete exasperation, Darien remained aloof on the issue as well.  
It seemed almost as though they'd reached some sort of agreement over it!  
  
But some evenings were far too enchanting....romance glistening off the other's skin as  
they bid goodnight, and Darien could not mask the longing in his eyes.  
  
Such as one night when they stumbled to her door a little drunk and breathless and he  
suddenly had her far too close and she could see the desire in his eyes. And for   
perhaps the smallest of moments she let her body remember how wonderful his felt...but she  
quickly collected herself as he bent to kiss her.  
  
"No, no we can't, we can't!" She exclaimed pulling away.  
She assumed he simply missed the affair--not that he had fallen in love with her--and felt  
that becoming lovers again would be wrong.   
  
He said nothing to this but nodded and released her gently.  
  
"It'd be too easy..." He caught her mumbling as she fumbled with her keys in the door.  
  
He smiled sadly.  
  
No matter how her friends berated her, no matter how her heart ached queerly about  
him, Serena made her own truth. Some things had to remain orderly and constant or she  
wouldn't know anything anymore.  
  
He caught her hand and turned her round, "I miss you..."  
  
Her eyes turned sorrowful, "I know....but...we can only be friends now."  
  
He nodded quietly and left.  
  
She sank to the floor behind the door.  
This was hard. And there was no one to sympathize with her. It was all a secret.  
An affair that had ended with something else taking it's place.   
It didn't matter how tender he'd been. It didn't matter how many nights.  
It didn't matter even that he wanted children.....  
  
She shook herself, ~What's the matter with me? Have I gone daft? Passion is NOT love,  
it's just very romantic.....very....~  
  
She sighed.  
  
There was still no such thing as love. And she would never believe in it again.  
And she and Darien were just friends. Once they were lovers, but that was no more.  
Just friends.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	6. Chapter 6

So Strange You Are My Lover  
Chapter 6  
  
Author: Silent Moon  
mail: silentmoonstar@yahoo.com  
rated: R  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Darien sat in his apartment some days later, sketching aimlessly....thoughts elsewhere.  
He had a big show coming up....and though he was prepared so far as having all the work  
ready was concerned...he was not ready otherwise.   
  
His life would change forever. It was to be one of those ironic, make or break, life   
altering moments....  
  
He tossed down his pencil and pad with frustration. But then resigned himself with a sigh.  
It was all for the best really, he couldn't continue with Serena in this fashion, it was   
killing him....slowly....smile after smile....  
  
The phone rang, bringing him back to reality a bit,  
"Hullo?"   
  
"Darien, I need you to be my date tonight!" Serena's panicked voice squeaked out.  
  
He laughed, "This 'friends only' thing lasted long." He joked.  
  
"You tease but I'm in such a panic! There's a big banquet dinner and ball at the hotel  
downtown for my office--I forgot all about it! Everyone's heard I've split up with Alan  
and....I just CAN'T show up without a date!"  
  
He sighed with mock indulgence on the other end, "Alright."  
  
"Oh, I'm so afraid everyone will be talking--you don't think it'll be a scandal do you?"  
  
"No, I don't."  
  
She seemed to breath a sigh of relief at this.  
  
"How long do I have to get ready?" He asked.  
  
"We have to leave now." She informed him.  
  
"Now? But I haven't got a tux or anything!"  
  
There was a knock at his door.  
  
"Just a sec there's someone at the d--" He opened the door to find Serena, dressed to kill  
with a tux over her arm for him.  
  
She smiled bewitchingly at him, "Please?"  
  
He grinned shaking his head at her and took the tux, "Give me five minutes." And then  
he rushed madly to the bathroom.  
  
She laughed, "Thank you!" She sang out after him.  
  
She could hear the sounds of him shaving and washing up and then he walked out...  
She caught her breath. She'd never seen him dressed up. Shaved and combed neatly, with   
that tuxedo on, he looked a part of a different life. Her life.  
Suddenly she realized....how little difference there really was? Could that be right?  
  
"How is it," She quipped dryly, "That men can look stunning in five minutes and it takes  
me three hours?"  
  
He chuckled, "I'll take that as a compliment."  
  
"You look wonderful." She smiled, and offered her arm.  
  
"You look gorgeous." He returned and he meant it. He got a look at her again  
coming out of the bathroom.....her hair was done up loosely with long tendrils curling  
about her neck and throat....there were flowers tied in....and her dress...it said it all.  
No sleek black business dress for her this time. It was creamy and soft and absolutely  
perfect. The sparkle to her lips paled in comparison.  
  
They hurried down to her car.  
  
"This is a great tux," He said as they drove, "Just the right size--how did you guess?"  
  
She smiled, "I know a little about tuxedos..."  
  
He laughed at her mysteriousness about it.  
  
"Where'd you rent it from?"  
  
Now she chuckled, "I didn't. It's yours, a thank you for helping me out in a pinch."  
  
"Serena, I couldn't! It must have cost you a fortune!"  
  
"Nonsense! And now you'll have one if you ever need it again!"  
  
He shook his head. There was no arguing with her.   
  
They swept into the banquet dinner with all the grace of an important couple. Darien  
made a handsome escort and there was much clucking and whispering about him. He laughed  
it off good naturedly with Serena as they sat with Greg and a very radiant looking  
Amy at a little table off to one side.  
  
Amy stood to greet her, "Hello Serena!"  
  
"Amy, you look wonderful!" She exclaimed, "You're absolutely glowing!"  
  
Amy grinned then and looked some ten years younger, blushing.  
  
"Thank you, you look absolutely beautiful yourself!"  
  
Serena shrugged it off, "Thanks. Oh! This is my date Darien. Darien, this is Amy  
and her husband Greg."  
  
"Nice to meet you." Greg said shaking his hand.   
  
"Darien....where have I heard that name before?" Amy murmured as they sat.  
  
"He's Rei's cousin." Serena said.  
  
"Oh! That's right! You gave me that exquisite bear! Thank you so much!"  
  
Darien smiled, "Rei let the cat out of the bag eh? Well, congratulations and I'm happy   
you liked the bear."  
  
Amy smiled back while Serena once again fought to bite back a painful sensation too  
strong to name. She shook herself. Alan was gone. The possibility of having children  
was very real in her future....so why did this strange sensation refuse to dissipate?  
  
Dinner arrived shortly after and they chatted at length over steak and salad and wine.  
Serena, Amy and Greg talked about work and Darien politely listened. Then Greg  
turned to him,  
"What do you do Darien?"  
  
Darien smiled, "I'm a painter actually. Got my Fine Arts mostly in Japan and then came to  
America to finish."  
  
"Really? Are you fluent in Japanese?"  
  
"It's my first language actually. My mother was from Japan and my father from England.  
He taught me to speak English but I rarely had chance till I came here."  
  
"Do you find growing up in Japan has influenced your work?" Amy piped in with interest and  
Serena herself became enraptured. They rarely talked about his work, she realized with  
a pang of guilt.  
  
"Some. Studying influenced me the most. I fell in love with Impressionism and read up   
on it as much as I could."  
  
"Is that the style you paint in yourself?"  
  
"I mix up a lot of styles I think....but yes, I am fairly classical and there's definitely  
a sense of impressionism to my work."  
  
Amy laughed, "Serena must know." She turned to her friend, "You must have seen some of his  
work--what do you think?"  
  
Darien started a bit and so did Serena, but she surprised him by saying, "Actually,  
I did go see his last show..."  
  
"Oh, what was it called?" Asked Greg in a tone that implied he'd been to a couple.  
  
"Why Are Trees Beautiful..." She said softly and met Darien's eyes for the first time.  
There was something in them that made her shiver.  
  
"So...how would you describe his work?"  
  
And for once, Serena, who knew anything and everything about business, felt dumb...and  
one sided. How did these people know about art? Was everyone three dimensional while she  
was merely two?  
  
She laughed a little nervously, "Oh, I'm afraid I don't know much about painting. I couldn't  
say what style they resembled. But, they were absolutely beautiful..."  
  
Amy and Greg smiled and nodded and Darien tried to tear his eyes away from hers but they were  
locked together in emotion for one tense moment that made Greg arch an eyebrow at his wife.  
  
And then, to Serena's complete surprise, Darien and Greg dove into a heavy discussion about  
art history and bantered good naturedly for some time.  
  
Amy smiled indulgently at her husband as she and Serena ate dessert, "Art History is a bit  
of a hobby for Greg. He goes to a lot of shows, reads a lot of books. He took a minor  
in Art History with his degree."  
  
"Wow." Serena said sincerely. And she meant it.   
  
She watched Darien's smiling face as he exercised knowledge well learned. He was enjoying   
himself thoroughly.  
  
But then the dance floor was cleared and lit up and the pianist started playing.  
Greg excused himself from the conversation,  
"I must ask my lovely wife for a dance now." He said smiling and Darien nodded.  
  
Then he turned to Serena, "Shall we join in?"  
  
She smiled and took his hand. But as he pulled her out on the floor she was suddenly reminded  
of his body and it stung some part of her. The part that was only just learning to breath.  
She tried to shake it off.  
  
"You and Greg seemed to hit it off."  
  
"He's amazing! I haven't had such a great conversation about art in a long, long time!"  
  
Serena shook her head bewildered, "I never realized....that people...."   
  
"Had more than one interest?"  
  
"Managed to pursue them all." She amended.  
  
He chuckled lightly, "Did you have more than one interest Serena?" He asked, knowing the  
answer already.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What else besides business?"  
  
She met his eyes sadly, "Everything...."  
  
He smiled at her, "Somehow, I'm not surprised."  
  
She smiled back, "Thank you." She said, realizing suddenly, that his words were a  
compliment....a real one.  
  
He leaned down to her ear, "Are you going to sing us a song later?"  
  
She stiffened, "No!"  
  
He teased softly, "I think you will!"  
  
"I will not! What would people say?!"  
  
"Probably the same thing I did when I first met you." He laughed, "That you have an  
absolutely beautiful voice."  
  
But she shook her head, "Absolutely not."  
  
But as the night waned on and more bottles of wine disappeared.....she began to feel a little  
freer. And staying later than eleven for the first time she began to discover things  
about her co-workers.....one of them taught dance on the weekends....one of them built  
furniture for a hobby.....these people...they had so much more to their lives than work....  
  
Suddenly music seemed like just another hobby to mention....a very natural one....  
  
So when the pianist offered people the chance to play and Darien dragged her up and got  
her a microphone, she did the unthinkable....she sang.....an old style love song that   
enchanted everyone.  
  
"You stepped out of a dream......and into my life...."  
  
Darien was watching her from the crowd, his eyes aglow with something....admiration....and  
....what else?   
  
Amy and Greg met up with him wide-eyed.  
  
"I didn't know she could sing!" Amy whispered.  
  
"Isn't she fantastic?" He replied.  
  
Greg nodded, "She is!"  
  
And truly, with her ivory dress and softly curling hair, she was a different woman at that  
moment....everyone present caught a glimpse of something newly awakened.....  
  
"And I can't understand  
Is it the way that you planned it  
Or chanced it and now here I am?"   
  
She sang and smiled as she relaxed and simply enjoyed it.  
  
When she finished, everyone applauded.  
  
"Thank you, thank you, I hope I did it justice." She said humbly.  
  
Everyone cheered and murmured their approval. She reached Darien as he pulled her into another  
dance,  
  
"I can't believe you talked me into that!" She exclaimed, "Thank you!"  
  
He laughed, "You were wonderful! How do you feel?"  
  
"Alive!" She exclaimed joyfully and then laid her head against his shoulder breathlessly  
for a moment, "I feel alive."  
  
And his breath caught in his throat. She didn't realize how tender she was being....how  
akin to a wife....his heart was burning....  
  
They danced quietly for some time before he could tell she wanted to go.  
  
"Ready to leave?" He asked softly into her hair.  
  
She nodded in his arms, feeling sleepy and a little vulnerable after the whole night.  
He forced down the overwhelming wave of love that stroked painfully at his nerves from her  
one nod. Times like these the urge to care for her was nearly overwhelming.  
  
And what was the use? He thought bitterly, to have all this beautiful emotion awakened in  
him and stifled just beneath his skin....held back....  
  
He led her out into the chill night air and walked towards the car. A swift breeze  
picked up and sent a shiver through her and he swung her round to do up her coat and tuck  
it up about her neck to keep her warm.  
  
Once again she was reminded of how only Darien had ever made such gestures of tenderness  
with her. As though they came to him by instinct. Her own husband had never shown her  
such affection. Did she wake this in Darien? That thought disturbed her.  
Perhaps it was true though, and perhaps she simply did not inspire it in Alan.  
No, no that couldn't be right.  
  
She frowned.  
  
"Something the matter?" He asked, startling her into realizing he'd been watching her.  
  
She turned towards him as they reached the car, "Why did you approach me that first moment?  
Why on earth do you keep me for a friend?"  
  
She looked so genuinely curious that he laughed, "That's one of the things I like best  
about you Serena. You really haven't realized yet how truly enchanting you are."  
  
She just kept frowning and he laughed at her adorable face as they settled in to drive.  
The night air had revived her some and she turned to him, "I'm not half so tired anymore!"  
  
"Why don't we go get some late coffee and cake then?"  
  
"Sounds wonderful!"  
  
"Do you know a place around here? I'm not familiar with this area."  
  
She glanced out the window nervously, they were far to close to Lita and Ken's Bis--  
  
"Hey, what about that bistro over there!" He pointed.  
  
Cursed luck.  
  
"I-I've only been once or twice...are you sure?" She stammered.  
  
"Absolutely. Let's go."  
  
She pulled the car reluctantly in and parked. As they climbed the stairs to the entrance  
he turned to her, "You say you come here often?"  
  
"Oh uh no, not very often..." She said a bit wildly.  
  
But Ken was waiting at the desk when they came in, "Serena! Hello! How are you?"  
  
"Fine Ken, just fine."  
  
"You look lovely, were you out this evening?"  
  
"Banquet dinner." She murmured, "Uh, Ken, this is my date Darien."  
  
"Good to meet you sir." Ken said politely, "I'm Ken, the Maitre-di, welcome to the Bistro."  
  
"Thanks." Said Darien, looking vastly amused.  
  
"Can we have my usual table?" Asked Serena with flushed cheeks.  
  
"Of course." Said Ken.  
  
He led them over as Darien muttered, "Don't come very often eh?"  
  
She shot him a look and he laughed.  
  
Ken left them with menus and Darien waited for her to explain.  
  
She rolled her eyes, "Oh for heaven's sake! Alan and I used to come here all the time,  
Ken and his wife Lita became friends of mine. Lita's the chef--and just you wait, she'll  
be checking you out and getting a big kick out of all of this!"  
  
And as if on cue she spotted Lita doing just that from the kitchen doorway. The Bistro   
was empty save for the two of them--thankfully for Darien followed her gaze and grinned  
wickedly calling out,  
"How do I rate so far?"  
  
Lita's voice called back gaily, "Eleven out of ten from me!"  
  
"Darien!" Hissed Serena.  
  
"Lita!" Cried Ken in exasperation.  
  
Serena and Ken exchanged baleful glances.  
  
Lita watched with real delight as Serena and her date lingered over coffees, laughing--really  
laughing and chatting animately.  
  
Ken came over and followed her gaze, "What do you think?"  
  
"She looks happy....he's making her laugh--and he's handsome to boot!"  
  
Ken laughed, "You're a terrible matchmaker!"  
  
"What do you mean! They'd be perfect together--I can tell!!"  
  
Ken smiled indulgently at his wife, "Well, they already are together, so I guess your work  
is done."  
  
"No they're not." Lita smiled knowingly.  
  
"Come again?"  
  
"She hasn't realized yet....Serena's very stubborn in love--I get the feeling she doesn't  
believe in it....so she can't know she's in it."  
  
Ken looked at them and tried to see it.  
  
Serena's face suddenly changed. Lita rolled her eyes, "Uh oh, I know that face, I'd better  
go get dessert..."  
  
  
"I should go home...I have a lot of work waiting..." Serena said, her voice tinged  
with guilt. Besides, this all felt too intimate. The same bistro, the same table.....she   
should feel painfully reminded--but she didn't....she felt oddly as though something had  
been set right....and that disturbed her far more.  
  
Darien frowned, still amused, "We haven't even had dessert yet! I have twenty paintings  
waiting at home and *I'm* having dessert!"  
  
Lita arrived with dessert at this moment, "She looked like she was getting ready to go home  
and work so I made dessert!"  
  
Serena rolled her eyes.  
  
"Lita, I already know I'm going to like you." Darien smiled.  
  
Lita winked at him.  
  
Suddenly Ken's voice cut across with mock sterness, "Woman, get back in the kitchen!"  
  
Lita laughed but offered her hand to Darien first, "It's good to meet you."  
  
Darien shook it and grinned, "You too. Anyone who gives me an eleven out of ten makes  
a good friend."  
  
They chuckled together and Lita left. Serena shook her head at them but it sat oddly with  
her that Lita seemed so taken with him--she'd never seemed very fond of Alan.  
  
She looked at Darien wonderingly. He was charming. She'd always known that.  
And due to the odd journey of their relationship, she knew first and foremost that he was  
a wonderful lover and now that he was a beautiful friend.  
  
She wondered uneasily if those weren't the two things necessary to make love but tried to  
push that thought back. It was too much, with everything else going on, with her spirit  
just flowering out new she couldn't handle having that one certainty shaken.  
  
There was no such thing as love. Couldn't be.  
  
She could not resolve such a romantic thing with the practicalities of her life, of her job.  
And yet....Darien had come to the banquet, fit in fine and revealed things about her close  
friends and colleagues that she never knew. Things that suggested such a compromise was  
quite possible.  
  
And it wasn't just easy to picture the rest of her life with Darien--it was impossible to   
imagine him out of it.  
  
But it was too beautiful. Too perfect. Something was missing. Something.  
~I'm too confused and uneven....I can't love him....I can't.~  
  
But somehow at that moment she knew......that contrary to everything she had once believed--to   
everything she had once been.....she loved him.  
  
The realization caused her to pale and catch her breath so suddenly that Darien's smile   
vanished and he asked her if she was alright. She looked like she'd just seen a ghost.  
  
They bid Ken and Lita farewell and drove home rather silently. Serena was lost in thought.  
  
~I love him? Oh no! This can't be....what am I supposed to do?~  
  
But then the truth struck her like a blow to the face,   
~He doesn't love me.~  
  
That one statement turned her every new emotion to ice. He didn't love her back so none  
of it mattered. All he felt--all he had ever felt was the attraction between them.  
  
  
They pulled into his parking lot and she turned off the engine, "C'mon, I'll walk you up."   
She said absently, her heart feeling sick.  
  
He nodded curiously. When they reached his door, deja vu hung heavy in the air and her  
eyes looked so strange....vulnerable...and...something else?  
Something that made him lose it completely.   
  
"Thanks for coming on short notice." She said, not meeting his eyes.  
  
"My pleasure." He returned softly and tilted her chin up, looking at her beautiful dress,  
her soft hair, "I'd say your transformation's complete butterfly."  
  
She looked into his eyes then, saw them darken with that familiar desire and felt--for the  
first times--a pang of something in her heart as it longed for the real thing.  
  
He watched it flash across her eyes and his face frowned with curious pain, he took her by  
the shoulders, "That's it.....I can't...I can't do this anymore..."  
  
And he pulled her into his arms and into a kiss, murmuring desperately as he did,  
"It's too much...it's too much...."  
  
And for one moment, made long by it's significance? she was kissing him back, returning  
his desire with the hunger he had longed for all these months. In fact, she pressed him  
back against his door taking the kiss deeper herself before tearing herself away, her voice  
choked with pain,  
  
"No, we can't!"  
  
But Darien looked back desperately at her, "I can't go on like this! I..I want to be with you."  
  
Serena's eyes filled with tears, "But we can't....this isn't real."  
  
And the words cut them both to the heart.  
  
He looked at her for one long anguished moment before turning his back on her,   
"Then I can't--I can't see you anymore." He choked out.  
  
Her face crumpled as she bit back a sob, "I know....I know...." She moaned and he clenched  
his fists to keep from turning round and reaching for her.  
  
He waited till he heard her turn and run back down the hall before turning round to watch her,  
her beautiful white dress trailing after her, like an angel down the dark hall.....  
  
Then he pushed open his door and crept into his apartment, only to find she was everywhere.  
In the kitchen, in the loft...in the bedroom.....everywhere....he fell to his knees by the  
window and stared out into the night in agony.  
  
She was gone. It was over--no that wasn't true. There was one last thing to do.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Only one chapter left to go! ^_~ 


	7. Chapter 7

So Strange You Are My Lover  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Author: Silent Moon  
E-mail: silentmoonstar@yahoo.com  
Rated: R  
Genre: Romance/Alternate Reality  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Rei sat at the usual Sunday brunch table impatiently. Her dark--almost violet eyes looking  
from Mina to the door over and over.  
  
Mina sighed, "She's late, that's unusual for her." Then she smiled, "Hey, maybe this whole  
embracing the rest of life thing is really starting to rub off on her!"  
  
But Rei shook her head. She'd just had dinner with Darien the night before last. Her cousin had  
kept an impressive front but the stark agony haunting his eyes had given him away.  
Besides, she'd been to his show the previous day and everything had finally started to make  
sense.  
  
Now to confront Serena.  
  
Serena appeared at this moment and Rei watched her longtime friend with a little bit of awe.  
What a transformation! She'd often wondered if she would ever break out of her self imposed  
cacoon and just let herself be.  
  
And now here she was coming over, long hair only partly tucked up, clothes soft and casual.  
But as she sat down and whooshed out an apology for being late Rei caught that same tell-tale  
agony in her eyes and knew.  
  
But Serena held an even tighter front than Darien himself, chatting about Amy's expected  
baby, about work, asking Mina about her beau....and yet carefully avoiding bringing up   
anything to do with Darien. And she'd backed out of all their plans these past two weeks,  
saying she had too much on the go at work. A lie.  
  
Rei waited patiently for her to stop talking and when Serena dared to stop and take a sip of  
her tea she spoke,  
"So, how long have you known you're in love with Darien?"  
  
Serena spat her tea out as Mina gasped, "What?" with her.  
  
The two blonds stared at their dark-haired friend in shock.  
  
"You heard me."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Serena sputtered, trying to look shocked and angry.  
Biting back the urge to just bawl all over both of them--could anyone know how hard this was on  
her?  
  
But Mina turned on her friend, "I wondered myself if you two wouldn't make a match of it! Oh,  
Serena--don't think you have to wait for years because you were married once!"  
  
Serena was speechless.  
  
Rei turned her expression to sympathy, "Oh, why wouldn't you tell me? This must have been  
such an ordeal for you!"  
  
Mina turned to face her, "I can't believe you finally fell in love! You, who wouldn't ever  
allow yourself to believe in it!"  
  
Serena's face was very pale but finally it crumpled and tears escaped her eyes,  
"It doesn't matter! It never mattered! Don't you both see? He doesn't love me back!"  
  
"Are you sure you know that?" Rei asked knowingly.  
  
But Serena knew more than both her friends, "Yes, I'm sure. There are things between us you  
two wouldn't understand."  
  
Rei reached over and took her hand, "I know."  
  
Serena paled, "What do you mean?"  
  
Mina perked up, wondering what Rei meant and why Serena was suddenly terrified.  
  
"I was there....at the poetry reading all those months ago...." Rei said carefully.  
  
The words sunk in slowly and Serena was once again silent with shock.  
  
"It was Darien wasn't it? You two were lovers weren't you?"  
  
Mina's eyes widened, "You had an affair with him?--and you didn't tell us?"  
  
"We told no one." Serena said dully, all the life suddenly drained from her, "And when Ann  
came back we split up....it was during those months I wrote and read.....and then when she  
left him we got back together...until Alan and I split up....it was only--"  
  
She stopped herself and blushed, her two friends breaking into wry smiles.  
  
"Only what?" Mina prodded wickedly  
  
Serena pretended to ignore her, "Anyway, he wanted to stay friends and so we did...and then I   
realized that..a wonderful lover and a beautiful friend....make something even better..."  
  
She shook her head as her friends gazed sadly at her.  
  
Her voice was bitter when she spoke again, "Oh why did I ever try to live this way? Why did  
I start to believe again?! My life was better before all this! It was less complicated--"  
  
"Oh really?" Cut in Mina arching an eyebrow.  
  
"Is *that* why you constantly snuck out to art shows and music recitals?" Rei said mockingly.  
  
"But-but--" Serena stuttered helplessly--looking for sympathy where there suddenly was none.  
  
"But nothing. You're happier now--and you know it." Mina smiled.  
  
"I'm not." Said Serena sadly, "I'm heartbroken. You know....Alan didn't want children, that's   
when things really started to seem bad between us....and then Darien bought Amy that bear and  
I felt so strange....and I asked him--I know I shouldn't have but I did--I asked him if he   
wanted children and when he said yes I suddenly wanted to cry..."  
  
"What happened that you two are avoiding each other now?"  
  
Serena shook her head, "It all just came to a head two weeks ago when I realized I loved him  
and then he wanted to--to--be lovers again....oh it was awful, I wanted to and suddenly it   
wasn't enough anymore and he said he couldn't see me anymore....."  
She buried her face in her hands and Mina jumped up to comfort her but Rei stopped her and  
gestured her to stay back, then she leaned over and said very softly in Serena's ear,  
  
"I think you should go see his new show..."  
  
Serena looked up slowly and met Rei's eyes, "Maybe..." She said softly and rose to leave.  
  
Rei stood up, "And you should know..." She added as Serena went to leave, "...Ann didn't leave  
him...he left her."  
  
She watched Serena's shoulders stiffen in shock as she walked away and held Mina back,  
"Let her go....just let her go."  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~@  
  
  
Serena took a long walk in the park then....thinking over everything Rei had said....everything  
she and Darien had been through.....  
  
Had he really been the one to leave Ann? Why? Didn't he love her? Wasn't he still pining   
away for her?  
  
She realized however, the folly of thinking that when she suddenly wondered if Darien thought  
she loved her husband.  
  
Had she ever loved Alan? Certainly not.  
  
She remembered Darien asking her if she and Alan made love. By that definition they never  
had. Ironically she'd only ever experienced love making with the man she had an affair with.  
  
Had she loved him all along? The whole time? Like a fool? Thinking she was simply satiating  
some small part of herself rather then completing her very soul?  
  
Suddenly all her dreams of finding love had returned only to be dashed cruelly away with  
the knowledge that she wanted them only with this one man she could never have! Getting  
married, having children, spending her life with the perfect companion....they all seemed  
very gray at the moment....unattainable.  
  
Darien had never loved her, had only taken her into his world because that was the kind of  
beautiful man he was and because they shared a very real attraction. Perhaps her own love  
for him had been enough to lend him such an attraction or at least balance what he offered  
so much of in comparison to her small, undeveloped heart.  
  
And now she must spend her life without him, after finally feeling awake, ready, alive.  
He didn't love her. Couldn't. And why should he?  
  
And yet....he'd left Ann....walked away from the one woman he believed was his true love.  
And she knew him. He believed completely in true love. Falling once, forever.  
  
But he'd walked away...called her in agony....she believed it was because Ann had left but had  
it really been because he'd realized she wasn't the one?  
  
Her heart grabbed and she suddenly realized she'd left the park and started towards the gallery.  
She caught a cab the rest of the way and hurried breathlessly up the stairs, through the high  
stone hallways until she found his room.....  
  
She stopped short at the title over the doorway....on the small pamphlets....  
  
~Why is she beautiful?~  
  
Her throat suddenly closed, her lungs unable to take in air....  
  
~He wouldn't.....~  
  
But as she walked slowly in and caught sight of it all she stumbled and only nearly escaped  
falling to her knees.  
  
They were her....all of them....every picture....sketches, paintings...her face, her eyes  
her long hair....  
  
She felt her eyes fill with tears as she traced them all....by the time she reached a smaller   
painting in thick oils of an apple star the tears were trailing down her cheeks, her lips   
trembling....her heart burning as though it might burst.  
  
People had started to realize it was her and smiled at how moved she seemed. But she was blind  
to everyone and Rei had to reach up and touch her shoulder to shake her from her daze.  
  
"Hey..." Rei said gently.  
  
Serena turned on her, "Rei....do you speak japanese?"  
  
Rei frowned and nodded, "Yes, yes I do."  
  
Serena met her friends eyes evenly, "There's something I want you to translate for me...."  
  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Darien had just put together the last of his cardboard boxes and was looking carelessly  
around for someplace to start packing from, his heart heavy.  
  
He was moving away. This apartment was haunted and he couldn't bare it. Had to get away.  
Maybe go to Paris? Start over? The art gallery had offered to recommend him. Even Ann  
had offered to pull a few strings and get him an interview.  
  
It was done now. The show was up--he didn't plan to stay long enough to collect the paintings.  
He'd be gone before the show finished--before Serena had chance to see it.  
  
He felt the dull ache rise up again and take over at the thought of her. His mind flashed  
through a thousand memories and sensations.....finishing with the way she had looked at him  
that last night as she said "but...this isn't real."  
  
Whether that was because she didn't love him, or didn't believe in love or some impossible   
combination of the two he did not know. It didn't matter.  
  
He sighed and picked up one of the boxes heading for the loft.  
~Might as well pack up the paints first.....~  
  
He didn't hear the first knock some time later as he pack his palettes and brushes gently.  
The second knock he attributed to something else. But the third knock was unmistakable.  
  
Someone was pounding desperately on the door.  
  
He hurried down then and flung it open after peering out the peephole and almost falling  
over in surprise.  
  
"Serena...?!" He said starkly as he opened the door to face her.  
  
She looked wild, absolutely wild and shoved him back violently as she barged in blurting,  
  
"Ashiteru? Ashiteru! How long were you saying that?! All along!? The whole time! You  
were saying you loved me the whole time!?"  
  
Darien stared wide-eyed at her, then put up his hands for protection as she moved to shove   
him once more, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He cried, not knowing what else to say.  
  
All those beautiful nights....all those soft words in japanese.....  
  
"The words just came out! I couldn't control them! I said them before I realized!  
Before I knew!"  
  
She stopped then, her expression changing, softening, making him shiver suddenly with cursed  
hope.  
  
"You love me?" She asked gently, her voice suddenly sweet.  
  
He stared at her in anguish though, blind to the sudden truth, "Yes." He said hoarsely.  
  
She came closer slowly, "I went to the show."  
  
He looked down, "Oh."  
  
She reached him and looked up to meet his eyes, touching his face, "It was..." her voice  
choked up now, "...so beautiful....." She tried to take a deep breath,  
"I only wish....I had a beautiful way to tell you too...." She thought of all his beautiful  
sketches...his paintings....the soft ways he'd found to say it, with everything in him,  
even his work....  
  
He looked incredulously at her, shock and beautiful beautiful pain evident on his face.  
  
"I wish I had some beautiful way to say it......but I don't..." She looked up into his  
dark eyes then and found them suddenly glazed with unshed tears.  
  
"You just did..." He whispered as he bent to kiss her, catching her up tightly against him  
and sinking his lips into hers with all the emotion of the first time finally spoken alive...  
...made real.  
  
"I love you." He breathed gently as he finally pulled away.  
  
"I love you too." She returned, smiling brightly as her arms rested about his neck with soft  
claim.  
  
He smiled then....his whole face lighting up, "Marry me?"  
  
She laughed softly, "Of course!"  
She looked around then and her face tightened with horror, "You're moving?"  
  
"I was going to."  
  
"You were going to leave?"  
  
"This place is haunted with you Serena. You're everywhere in it...."  
  
She turned guilty eyes on him, "You let me into all the parts of your life and I--"  
  
"You let me discover yours with you." He finished, pulling her close again,  
"Someday, you are going to realize just how amazing you are.....and how ridiculous to love  
a fool like me!"  
  
She laughed then and scoffed that notion away, "Darien!" She cried, grabbing his nose  
playfully, then she turned serious, leaning closer, "I feel so lucky and so blessed. You  
know, I didn't believe in love....but I fell anyway....it was always only you..."  
  
He smiled softly, "I'm glad I made you believe again."  
  
"I don't know what it is I offer you in return....."  
  
He reached up and stroked her hair, "I know you don't....but it's everything. You offer  
me everything. I've spent my life looking for beautiful things....wondering why they are...  
and you...are the most beautiful--" He never finished for the moment became a kiss and then  
there was no more talking.....as they sank to the floor and let one beautiful moment become  
another and another.....time itself was suddenly made beautiful by their love...  
  
And this time when Darien said he loved her she knew....and she returned his words with all  
the passion and beauty he offered them with--knowing in a blinding flash what it was she offered  
him....it had no name, no words...was only beautiful and perfect and true......a balance to   
his own.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	8. Epilogue

So Strange You Are My Lover  
  
Epilogue  
  
Author: Silent Moon  
E-mail: silentmoonstar@yahoo.com  
Rated: R  
Genre: Romance/Alternate Reality  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Five Years Later.........  
  
  
Rei and Chad met up with Amy and Greg in the gallery parking lot. Rei with her glossy dark  
hair pulled up into a sophisticated bun and Chad with his once rather straggly hair cut shorter  
made a very striking couple. Rei had the air and appearance of someone very important, almost  
distant and haughty but her face broke into a wry grin as she spotted Amy and Greg.  
  
"Amy! Greg!" She rushed over, dragging Chad after her.  
  
"Hello!" Amy managed before Rei was choking her in a hug.  
  
Greg and Chad shook hands politely, laughing at their suddenly emotional wives.  
  
"How are you?"  
"Wonderful and you?"  
"Great! How's work?"  
"Same old same old."  
"Amy, are you pregnant again?!" Rei suddenly noticed her stomach.  
  
Amy nodded, smiling madly.  
  
"Congratulations!" Rei cried, crushing her again into a hug.  
  
Amy laughed, "Thanks! We thought it was about time...."  
  
"Did you bring your little guy with you?"  
  
"No, no, he's at home with a sitter."  
  
"Mine too. I wanted this to be just about them y'know?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
  
"Hey over there!" A cheery voice called.  
  
They all turned to see Lita and Ken coming over, smiling broadly.  
  
"Hey guys, looks like we're all here---except for Mina and Malcolm but I think their  
flight was delayed..." Rei smiled.  
  
"Well, let's head in then." Lita chirped.  
  
"I'm eager to see this new show." Greg said amiably.  
  
"She said it was spectacular over the phone." Lita returned.  
  
"She always says that!" Pointed out Rei and they all laughed.  
  
"Yes, but she's never insisted we all come and see." Amy smiled.  
  
"Well, it's about time we all got together! What has it been---a year since we all saw  
one another? That's dreadful!" Rei said.  
  
They reached the entrance doors when Mina's voice called out from behind, "Wait! Wait for me!"  
  
She and Malcolm came huffing up to them, all blond hair and good looks--both of them.  
  
Mina was grinning, "Hey everyone!"  
  
  
Then they all went in together to see Darien's new show. And most importantly, to see their  
longtime friend.  
  
It had been five years since Serena and Darien married--quietly in the park, with friends  
and loved ones around them. Five years since Serena had tossed her bouquet and Mina had caught  
it (as planned). And over a year since they'd all gotten together to talk and catch up.  
  
Darien's work had taken him over to Europe and beyond a few times and Serena always found  
a way to go with him and take work along. But work wasn't the priority is had once been  
for her. Over the past years she'd published two books and even sang every other weekend  
at an old style club downtown....  
  
And just a few weeks before she'd called all of them rapturously and insisted they come see  
the show. They'd all agreed of course and done everything in their power to make it--especially  
on Mina's part.   
  
Now they hurried down the hall excitedly, eager to see Serena, but the title of the show  
made them all stop short. All four women stared in shock until their husbands began to chuckle  
at them.  
  
~Why is my baby beautiful?~  
  
Rei was the first to recover and Mina second with a positive squeal of delight as she grabbed  
Rei's arm. Lita and Amy joined them and they hurried into the crowded showroom, searching  
madly for her.  
  
Suddenly her voice cut across the room, "Rei! Mina! Lita! Amy! Everyone!"  
  
Serena rushed over and hugged them all as they bombarded her with questions and mock scolded  
her for not telling them.  
  
"I wanted it to be a surprise!" She protested, then grinned, "Come over, you have to see  
her, she's absolutely beautiful--that is, if I can pry her away from Darien!"  
  
They all walked over to find Darien sitting to one side, his tall, handsome figure completely   
absorbed in holding the small baby girl sleeping beneath his chin.   
  
But as if on cue, she opened her big eyes and woke as their friends came over and became very  
animated, waving her chubby fists and making adorable baby noises as they all cooed over her.  
  
Serena raved on and joked with the girls about how Darien was with her, and how delightful  
she was....how sweet to bath, how adorable to greet in the morning....  
  
Darien caught up with the four men who had become good friends of his over the years, holding  
his baby girl with unspoken, barely contained pride that the other four were familiar with   
already.  
  
Finally Rei asked to hold the baby and Darien carefully passed her over, laying the little  
blanket over Rei's shoulder and watching to make sure nothing happened with amusing concern.  
  
Serena smiled at her husband and came over beside him.  
  
The girls all smiled at the baby and reached over to touch her tiny hands and feet--save for  
Rei who was smiling at her cousin and her best friend....married happily....now with a baby.  
She was smiling at the way Darien's hand found it's way to hers with a gesture so natural it  
was obviously practiced often.  
  
She was heart-glad for both of them. They seemed polar opposites to start with and yet....after  
everything they went through it turned out they both offered the other the one thing they were  
seeking.   
  
~And besides,~ she thought with something akin to awe as she looked at the various  
paintings of their baby girl on the walls......~look what they make together....~  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
